Poem | Pain Cemetery

photo by Ivan Samkov from pexels

To whom should I sell this pain?
Maybe I could get a healing as an exchange
But, no one wants to buy
Although I gave the lowest price
Still no one wants
They said, “Don’t you know that we have the same pain as yours? We have too much” (while pointing at their chest)

I stopped selling or offering my pain
I’ll keep it, here and there
Based on its timeline
And in a place where it should be : the cemetery that I built in my mind

November 19th, 2021

Poem | A Letter to The Old Me

image by Free-photo from pixabay

My dear, you know that sky isn’t always blue
rain doesn’t always bring the rainbow
and wind can turn into the tornado
but, you’re always able to go through

My dear, there’s no perfect past
so is the present and future
As long as you did your best
failure shouldn’t be your regret

My dear, I’m sorry for my mistreatment
I’m sorry for every emotion I bottled up
All I want was just hold back my tears
so no one knew that I’ve cried

My dear, whoever hurt or left any scars
let them pay the debts
Pity on them who threw a gem for a gravel
You deserve the best
Better than they ever gave

October 22, 2021 – the best day of the week

Poem | Moonlight

private document

Let’s go out and move our body
following the rhythm of welcome dance
greeting the night with warm embrace

We have enough time to play
enjoying the view that’s not too dark like usual
Let’s laugh together
till the bedtime story come
or a lullaby is sung

Take me go outside this room
to sing and dance under the full moon
Let my bare feet touch the ground
just run and run, since tomorrow is the day off

Under the moonlight,
my eyes will capture its allure
while my mind still call back the memories of childhood

October 10th, 2021

Poem | Oh, Cheerful September

photo by Rodnae Productions from pexels

Oh, cheerful September
As the time goes faster
Your end is getting closer

Oh, cheerful September
As I tripped and fell over and over
I find the reason to grow stronger

Oh, cheerful September
The day when I wake up
I choose rejection to give up

Oh, cheerful September
Although sometimes life is full of grief
I’ll answer it with tears and smile at the same time

Oh, cheerful September
Maybe I need some rest
But, I refuse to stop or else I’ll regret later

Oh, cheerful September
I go through this fear again and again
Either failure or losing
Like it’s one of a daily routine

Oh, cheerful September
You give me hope and moments to be captured
But also a farewell that doesn’t need to be remembered

September 12th, 2021-when the rain is still pouring during dry season

Poem | Forgiveness

photo by Ali Arapoglu from pexels

How many times do you have to put a smile
when the words are just sweetener on the lip tip
No one knows about your heart, which is like a battle field
where the memories are vulnerable in front of grudges

Nothing is more toxic than a fake smile while mumbling of bad things
undetected and not tasted
just left a never ending chaos

If “sorry” doesn’t ever come,
which one should be there first

between regret and forgiveness?

August 25th, 2021

Short Poem | Escape

photo by Andrew Neel from pexels

I don’t know what you put in your coffee while waiting for me to write you a poetry
I want to make sure that you won’t smell my anxiety or taste my break up tears

Drink your coffee till I’m done with my last verse
I want to know the limit of your patience
In your waiting, can you find a way to escape from me?

August 8th, 2021

Poem | He-Who-Teaches-Me-How-to-Laugh

photo by Julia Avamotive from pexels

Tell me,
that you don’t come
to give me hope
or offer a new romance
Cause I won’t be trapped in the same mistake

What do you want,
by this kind of wish?
I can’t tell,
is it a joke?
Cause you’re such a flirt

From you,
I learn how to laugh :
how life is so ridiculous
how you playfully said
that I’m your dopamine resource

Once again, you make me laugh
Keeping me in our conversations
Should it be longer,
till we finish our cups of coffee?

Let it flow or go
without pressure or compulsion
We’re just actors
that follow God’s scenario

Saturday night, end of July

Poem | A Piece of Me

photo by Julia Volk from pexels

When the world is too noisy
All I can hear are just noise
So, where’s the forgotten voice?
Is it hidden somewhere or blend in with the society?

When I’m surrounded by these nonsenses
It’s harder for me to stay sane
But, as long as my steps are on the lane
I’ll keep walking and pretend to not hear

When the noise makes me lose myself
Let this poem be a piece of me
Let it tells you of my other side
and be a reflection when I make mistakes

July 25th, 2021

Poem | Footsteps to Haste

photo by Akshaya Premjith from pexels

On your footsteps to haste
On a regret that comes after
Me, my footsteps and those destination
is the same narration with yours


I knew the emptiness in you
There’s a long waiting and an old pain
You’re waiting for helping hands
or a drop of serenity that you feel difficult to find

Everyone will wake up from their long sleeps
In my awareness, I learn about what I have to finish
before giving you an answer
or else I’ll end up swallow my bitter pills

July 19th, 2021 – during the sunset

Poem | Too Much Tears to Drink

photo by Kat Jayne from pexels

Welcome to the last supper!
when we have an ignorance as our appetizer,
sadness is a main dish,
and anxiety is a dessert
that served at our table

They continue to feed us a denial
Until truth and lie are interchangeable
Intelligence and stupidity are just on a thin line
We don’t know what and where’s the limit

You think that there’s nothing more resilient than a June rain
But, we’re more than tough to drink too much tears
When one by one soul has left its body
Reaching an eternal peace in a better place

Give me a sign
even though I’m too blind to notice
Give me alerts
even though I’m too stupid to know
Give me greeting and farewell
even you have to say,

“I’m standing at your door. I’ll come in when your time is over”

July 12th, 2021 during the second wave of pandemic