Poem | White Flag

picture from consciousbridge.com

Why do I have to put a smile,if all I want is crying?
I won’t run out of tears
cause I keep it for a reason
that you might know or not
except I sell it
for the sake of attention

I regret and thankful of what you’ve created
I hate and love every footstep you’ve left
Never disappeared even though dry and wet months always change
Is forgetting really necessary?

My memory isn’t good enough
to memorize every single A to Z
But, you could force me to remember those pains
with every detail and piece of your act
You taught me to forgive
to make a peace and accept the fact that I should raise the white flag
so you could attack
But, I won’t
For sure

Yogyakarta, August 25th, 2020-03.15 p.m.

*) Note : a white flag is internationally used as a symbol of surrender, truce or request of negotiation.

Poem | What If

photo by Kristin Vogt from pexels

What’s fairytale?
What’s romance?
I’m in love
and hate to admit
that it might kill me

I fall to stand up
even I try to find a reason to give up
almost make an excuse to suicide

I sleep to wake up
erasing my burden
and escaping from pain

But, this pain doesn’t allow me to sleep
So, I take a pen, think and write,
What if I never wake up from my bed?”

Yogyakarta, August 16th, 2020-during a heavy rain

Poem | An Old Romance

image by Annca from pixabay

Do you wanna see what inside my heart?
So, you’ll know what my fear looks like
Here, I keep your secrets from the past
which haunt me
cause you’re so far away
Trying to put the doubt in
or just burn the jealousy in my chest

I hate the distance
that gives a chance to her and you
to meet in the same room
But, I hate the chance more
that gives you a possibility to replay an old romance

Yogyakarta, August 10th, 2020-during lunch break

Poem | Your Birthday

photo by Flora Westbrook from pexels

Do you remember when we sing together out of our breath?
It was long time ago
When we sticked together
Before we choosed to create our own path

I almost play this song today
Like I always did on August
And you’d do the same on September
But, it’s just on our old days
Not today
And never ever again

Yogyakarta, August 3rd, 2020-07.27 p.m.

*) Note : I wrote this poem to remembering my best friend who passed away in the beginning of June 2020. Actually, today is her birthday. Since I miss  her a lot, but can’t congratulate her anymore, I decided to write this poem.

Poem | A Pledoi of A Bad Girl

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from pixabay

I’m tired of this warning
that always be doctrine
to steal ‘me’ from myself

In the name of safety, modesty or men’s authority
the laws told me to bow 90 degree
in front of Your Majesty
to protect my dignity

Cause I have no place to stay
Heaven is only for a lovely lady
who doen’t mind to trade her choice
becoming a slave under your feet
so you can’t be dethroned

But, I’m too rebel
Not a good girl who you can handle
So, you have to be with an angel
Cause I’ll back to the hell
except I can win over this battle

Yogyakarta, July 14th, 2020-08.43 a.m.

*) Note : A word ‘pledoi’ comes from Dutch, ‘pleidooi’, which means defense. In law field, pledoi is a term that refers to the last attempt of the defendant or attorney to defend the client’s rights, defend the truth he believes in, according to the evidences that revealed in the court.

An Opinion on Women’s Life (Part 3 : An Open Letter to Women)

Photo by John-Mark Smith on pexels

Dear Women,

All of you are beautiful. No matter what’s your skin color, hair style, short or tall, thin or thick. Don’t let the others dictate you about how the beauty looks like. You better define your own beauty. Don’t trust the beauty standard that much. If you’re more thankful, you’ll start to love yourself. Later, you’ll realize that everyone is special on their own way.

Dear Women,

You aren’t only about your face and body. You have brain. You have talent. You have beautiful heart and soul. You have the right to grow up. You have the right to have your choices. You have the right to learn anything you want. You have the right to be respected. You have the right to be treated equally. You have the right to speak up your mind. Don’t let them underestimate you! Keep your head up and show them who you truly are!

Dear Women,

You might have high academic degree. You might have high salary. You might have high position. But, you need to know your position in your household. Control your ego. Be humble. Respect and obey your husband. Be a good mother to your children.

Dear Women,

Doing chores, cooking, giving the best service to your husband, doesn’t mean you’re his maid. It doesn’t mean that he’s your boss. That’s your responsibilty as a wife. That’s a kind of how you express your gratitude of his sacrifice toward you. Instead of complaining how hard your chores, why don’t you discuss it with your husband? Remember, I said DISCUSS! Not ARGUING! Not FIGHTING! So, please talk to him heart to heart and control your emotions.

Dear Women,

You shouldn’t attack each other just to catch men’s attention. You shouldn’t offend and judge another women who have different opinion, value, choices with you. “Girls compete each other, women empower one another”. So, can you see the difference?

Dear Women,

Don’t hide yourself behind the statement, “lady’s first” when you see an an old man doesn’t get a seat on a public transportation! Cause the one who must be prioritized more is him, not you. How if he’s sick? How if he’s so exhausted and can’t stand up for a long time? How if he’s your own father and he’s treated like that? Just because you’re women, doesn’t mean you must always be prioritized first. There’s time or situation that you should succumb for the common good.

Dear Women,

It’s okay if you hate patriarchy. It’s okay if you hate toxic masculinity. It’s okay if you hate gender inequality. But, if you hate men, I think you should fix your mind. Cause men and women aren’t rival. They’re partner. So, they should be together to make the world a better place to stay.

I wrote this letter not only for you. It’s my self-reminder too. In this world where women haven’t free from sexual harassment, objectification and discrimination yet, I hope women can fight for their rights, but also knowing and taking their responsibilities without too much excuses.

With love and respect,

Luna

The First 10 Days of Ramadhan (Not A Bedtime Story)

Assalamualaikum, Ramadhan!

How do you feel today? Please, forgive us for not giving you a warm and cheerful greeting like previous years. It doesn’t mean that we’re not happy for your coming. But, this pandemic makes us to stay at home for school, work and pray. In other words, we make our home as a center of our activities, including praying. Yeah, you know, prevent is better than cure.

Although there’s no greeting like usual, I’m still thankful to Him for giving me health and chance to meet you again. And I didn’t realize that first 10 days will pass soon. So, there’s something I want to confess.

I’m sorry if I still let my laziness control me. I feel like I treat you so badly by not showing my gratitude and interest toward you. I still often procrastinate to pray on time. I still often prioritize worldly pleasure over the more important things. And this heart still keeps hatred, jealousy, prejudice etc. It makes me think, am I too weak so the devil inside me can’t be defeated easily?

Well, if you feel disappointed, I can understand why. Cause if I were you, I’d feel the same. So, would you like to give me chance on 20 days left?

Yogyakarta, May 3rd, 2020-10.22 p.m.

Poem | I Speak Through My Soul

“Can you imagine a world without voice?”

(i)

I’m not going to tell you about how it feels when being locked in a dark room alone

Everyone knows. Although some of them are brave enough. Some people can’t stay still, dying of fear.

(ii)

Even you shut my mouth or cut my throat, the truth is unveiled.

An unspoken one, mystery, whatever it says.

Do we need an explanation?

(iii)

If I have to tell you everything, you won’t be able to know the meaning of my gaze.

Then my love won’t be the same. And my words are nothing.

Till you let me to speak through my soul

Yogyakarta, April 7th, 2020-01.12 p.m.

Poem | How to Describe

How do you describe the word “beauty”? No, you can’t find it on my poem. Cause it has no soul and I don’t know where it goes.

How do you describe the word “longing”? When I feel the distance and call your name in my prayer. Can you invite me to your dream?

How do you describe the word “love”? Don’t ask me! If you can’t read my mind, see it through my eyes. What do you find?

Yogyakarta, March 28th, 2020-08.08 a.m.

Poem | Controlling

photo by Nick Demou from pexels

What’s the meaning behind those numbers?
Does it mean “authority?”
You told me to do “this” and “that”
Claiming it’s the best choice for me
Are you a fortune teller?

Who told you to be that over control?
You want me to have a better life
But, since when you became Mr/Mrs. Know-It-All?

You might be older
But, it’s just a number
Doesn’t mean you know everything
Give me choices, let me decide
instead of forbiding
Tell me your reasons
Cause I’m ready to jump and dive into the ocean

Yogyakarta, March 8th, 2020-10.01 p.m.