Poem | Pain Cemetery

photo by Ivan Samkov from pexels

To whom should I sell this pain?
Maybe I could get a healing as an exchange
But, no one wants to buy
Although I gave the lowest price
Still no one wants
They said, “Don’t you know that we have the same pain as yours? We have too much” (while pointing at their chest)

I stopped selling or offering my pain
I’ll keep it, here and there
Based on its timeline
And in a place where it should be : the cemetery that I built in my mind

November 19th, 2021

Poem | A Letter to The Old Me

image by Free-photo from pixabay

My dear, you know that sky isn’t always blue
rain doesn’t always bring the rainbow
and wind can turn into the tornado
but, you’re always able to go through

My dear, there’s no perfect past
so is the present and future
As long as you did your best
failure shouldn’t be your regret

My dear, I’m sorry for my mistreatment
I’m sorry for every emotion I bottled up
All I want was just hold back my tears
so no one knew that I’ve cried

My dear, whoever hurt or left any scars
let them pay the debts
Pity on them who threw a gem for a gravel
You deserve the best
Better than they ever gave

October 22, 2021 – the best day of the week

Poem | Lone Wolf

photo by Federico Di Dio photography on Unsplash

They say I’m lonely
going alone everywhere
without group of peers
or a man whom I date with

They took pity on me
thinking that my life is so unlucky
for not having friends
or someone who stands by my side

Yeah, please, keep talking about that shit
keep your shallow thinking to yourself
cause we’re so unwell trained to see what unseen
an amateur to dive in to the meaning

Call me a lone wolf if you want
a member who’s outcasted of the pack
cause of her flaws
which is not cool enough to stay in, even be their shadows

I’m a lone wolf
who defeat the loneliness alone
who reject to be the shadow
who won’t bow down to any expectation

October 14th, 2021-time when I feel the most powerful to make my day

Poem | Moonlight

private document

Let’s go out and move our body
following the rhythm of welcome dance
greeting the night with warm embrace

We have enough time to play
enjoying the view that’s not too dark like usual
Let’s laugh together
till the bedtime story come
or a lullaby is sung

Take me go outside this room
to sing and dance under the full moon
Let my bare feet touch the ground
just run and run, since tomorrow is the day off

Under the moonlight,
my eyes will capture its allure
while my mind still call back the memories of childhood

October 10th, 2021

[Lyrical Prose] Listen to Our Homeland’s Mourn

photo by pixabay from pexels

(1)

This is our homeland. One of God’s masterpiece, home of world hundreds active volcanoes; long stretch of coastline from the west to the east; heaven of tropical rainforest, various species of exotic animals and plants.

(2)

Here, we stand to welcome the sun. Surrender ourselves to the morning for the sake of new hopes.
“We’re born and die here”.

(3)

Our homeland is a piece of paradise. Mountains become the upstream of rivers and tributaries that flows happiness and life. Seeds that we sown, grow thousand grains of goodness. Human use it to support their lives.

(4)

But, our homeland is exchanged with money. Capital owners and deceitful politicians suck the citizens blood.

(5)

Mining’s everywhere, dredge up bowels of the earth. Sea and river polluted by mercury and plastic. Fishes are die. Our lungs filled with pollution.

(6)

Trees roots are not strong enough to handle the water flows. Forests are gone, converting to oil palm plantation. The villas stand tall on top of the hill, swallowing ecological areas.

(7)

When the rain comes so often, everything’s float off and die, swept away by the flood. Left pain and sorrow that will be recorded in our memory.

(8)

Our motherland endures her pain, due to the ungrateful behaviour of her children. intelligent human beings that never use their brain. Feels like the one who can take a control while they’re just souls that full of greed.

Sept 20th, 2021

Poem | Oh, Cheerful September

photo by Rodnae Productions from pexels

Oh, cheerful September
As the time goes faster
Your end is getting closer

Oh, cheerful September
As I tripped and fell over and over
I find the reason to grow stronger

Oh, cheerful September
The day when I wake up
I choose rejection to give up

Oh, cheerful September
Although sometimes life is full of grief
I’ll answer it with tears and smile at the same time

Oh, cheerful September
Maybe I need some rest
But, I refuse to stop or else I’ll regret later

Oh, cheerful September
I go through this fear again and again
Either failure or losing
Like it’s one of a daily routine

Oh, cheerful September
You give me hope and moments to be captured
But also a farewell that doesn’t need to be remembered

September 12th, 2021-when the rain is still pouring during dry season

Poem | Forgiveness

photo by Ali Arapoglu from pexels

How many times do you have to put a smile
when the words are just sweetener on the lip tip
No one knows about your heart, which is like a battle field
where the memories are vulnerable in front of grudges

Nothing is more toxic than a fake smile while mumbling of bad things
undetected and not tasted
just left a never ending chaos

If “sorry” doesn’t ever come,
which one should be there first

between regret and forgiveness?

August 25th, 2021

Prose Poetry | Ordering a Poem

photo by Sheep from pexels

I couldn’t help hearing your conversation with a middle-aged man in a stall when I passed by on Sunday at 6 am. Seems like you left your anxiety and regret to be written on an article that released at a homepage even though it couldn’t be the headline. I would like to join, but, I just kept myself away from you and started to make a new conversation because I didn’t know if it was true or just an assumption that played in my head.

I remember when you visited my veranda few days ago, you ordered a poem. Were you joking? And these verses were created, with or without you read it.

Another day you asked me “when”, when it could be an ambiguity, between literal meaning or just a metaphor. Because in a pandemic wave, red zones, restrictions and the death that stalks us even more, the question of “when” is about mystery, prediction and uncertainty.

The distance that we can reach through a screen, my words are announcement without voice but heard by you on the other side which I hope is fine.

August 9th, 2021

Short Poem | Escape

photo by Andrew Neel from pexels

I don’t know what you put in your coffee while waiting for me to write you a poetry
I want to make sure that you won’t smell my anxiety or taste my break up tears

Drink your coffee till I’m done with my last verse
I want to know the limit of your patience
In your waiting, can you find a way to escape from me?

August 8th, 2021

Poem | He-Who-Teaches-Me-How-to-Laugh

photo by Julia Avamotive from pexels

Tell me,
that you don’t come
to give me hope
or offer a new romance
Cause I won’t be trapped in the same mistake

What do you want,
by this kind of wish?
I can’t tell,
is it a joke?
Cause you’re such a flirt

From you,
I learn how to laugh :
how life is so ridiculous
how you playfully said
that I’m your dopamine resource

Once again, you make me laugh
Keeping me in our conversations
Should it be longer,
till we finish our cups of coffee?

Let it flow or go
without pressure or compulsion
We’re just actors
that follow God’s scenario

Saturday night, end of July