What is loyality for? If I have to sacrifice my health (both physically and mentally).
What is loyality for? If it makes me “far away” from my family and friends. (Remember, I use ” ” on the word far away).
What is loyality for? If I have to sacrifice my time to rest (my body has its limit. So, if my body is tired, it means I need to take a rest. Honestly, I need to understand what my body wants from me).
What is loyality for? If it makes me “far away” from God? (I need my time to pray regularly)
Sorry, if I’m so selfish. But, I can turn to be selfish when I’m too exhausted of everything or everyone around me.
My head feels heavier Is it gain some weigh? Or do I carry too much numbers? A stack of data Analyze and Forecasr Deadline and presentation
Higher pressure Suddenly everyone gets fussy Top manager give pressure to middle manager Middle manager give pressure to supervisor Supervisor give pressure to the staffs Then, who’s the staff putting pressure on?
I nag to myself, “why are you so dumb and weak?” I push her to the edge She doesn’t accept it I’m angry
So, should I press myself to reach a maximum point?
Bird chirping is like a music of delicate morning as the beginning of the day
Adults work Students study Birds left their nests Finding out food for their babies Nocturnals sleep Saving the energy for hunting at night Plants stand still Giving us a shelter from the sun heat Like a music of passionate afternoon Music that will burn your spirit
The sun goes down Tiredness gather in the body It’s time to go home enough for today
Beautiful sunset Like a music for a lover who sits next to each other “It’s too beautiful to pass by”
Black skies above your head Moon and stars shine Lighten up the villages, mountains, valleys and places far away from noise Because the city always forget how moon and stars shine at least when the city lights are off Like a music of quiet night before the day change and new hope is written in the next morning
The walls on the left The walls on the right The walls behid my back The walls in front of my eyes Why am I here?
Please, let me see the world across the horizon Wandering in every dream and reality Finding the hidden treasures Trying to be thankful of success But, falling in love with the failure at the same time Then, why don’t we break the walls?
An euphoria disappeared slowly My steps went so far Those memories that left behind Our conversations in every corner of this place Burst out into laughter The textbooks that we read The difficult terms I didn’t understand The theories, laws, code of ethics, formulas, methods were enough to burn my brain
We won’t stay here forever We have to go even though to the different direction Our graduations weren’t the end It’s just our starting point
If I stop writing My head will explode Because of too much thoughts
If I stop writing My heart will break into pieces Because I can’t take my emotions out
If I stop writing My day will be worse than ever Because there’s no place to escape anymore
If I stop writing It won’t affect your life But, it’ll affect my condition You won’t lose anything But, it’ll be the biggest lost for me
Yogyakarta, November 17th, 2019-06.38 p.m.
*) Notes : I made this poem as a reminder for me when I had to struggle with mood swing, laziness, procrastination, boredom and writer’s block. When I was in those conditions or when I didn’t get enough recognition, I felt like,”should I stop? should I give up?” But, I realized what’s my intention in writing. So, whatever happens, I shouldn’t stop writing. Well, Is there any condition that makes you want to stop writing? How do you get over it? Let me know your stories.
The workplace or office is full of adults from different background, knowledge, skill, experience and personality. Actually, as an adult, they can think and act like adult. Because they’re adults, they should understand the reponsibilty. Adults should know how to distinguish between right and wrong. Their mindset has built up, so, they can take an action and make their own decision.
But, in reality, I always find people (both of employees and bosses) who do not understand their responsibilities, unable to respect others (treated others like robot or machine, not human), put forward their own egos etc.
I have had a boss in my previous workplace that do not understand the rules and procedures. She never wanted to be blamed even though what she actually did was wrong. She’d rather trust the flatterers than those who tell the truth and show her the fact.
And you know, she fired 2 employees from production division and 1 accounting SPV. What surprised me was that the reason for their dismissal wasn’t a logical cause. Not long after they fired, one of my coworker in the same division with me, resigned cause she couldn’t deal with the boss attitude anymore.
When I wanted to resign, the company was looking for my successor. The company asked me to taught her anything that she’d do as her job desc.
After 3 days I accompanied her, I tried to let go of my assistance. And the next day I was forced to come to the office after she had told me that she had been intimidated by the boss. I remembered that she told me while crying back then. Finally, she only worked in the company for 1 week then decided to left.
The workplace should be an arena for healthy competition and collaboration. Not a battlefield between parties who have ‘certain interests’. Not a place for character assassination.
The adult world should not be too much drama. But, in reality, there’re many people who love to create ‘the office dramas’. And I really hate this situation. That’s why I always avoid it. I don’t care if they consider me as indifferent, cold, apathetic and so on. Well, I also don’t like and have no time for those kind of dramas.
Have a great day, everyone! Don’t forget to be happy
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