Poem | A Letter to The Old Me

image by Free-photo from pixabay

My dear, you know that sky isn’t always blue
rain doesn’t always bring the rainbow
and wind can turn into the tornado
but, you’re always able to go through

My dear, there’s no perfect past
so is the present and future
As long as you did your best
failure shouldn’t be your regret

My dear, I’m sorry for my mistreatment
I’m sorry for every emotion I bottled up
All I want was just hold back my tears
so no one knew that I’ve cried

My dear, whoever hurt or left any scars
let them pay the debts
Pity on them who threw a gem for a gravel
You deserve the best
Better than they ever gave

October 22, 2021 – the best day of the week

Poem | Lone Wolf

photo by Federico Di Dio photography on Unsplash

They say I’m lonely
going alone everywhere
without group of peers
or a man whom I date with

They took pity on me
thinking that my life is so unlucky
for not having friends
or someone who stands by my side

Yeah, please, keep talking about that shit
keep your shallow thinking to yourself
cause we’re so unwell trained to see what unseen
an amateur to dive in to the meaning

Call me a lone wolf if you want
a member who’s outcasted of the pack
cause of her flaws
which is not cool enough to stay in, even be their shadows

I’m a lone wolf
who defeat the loneliness alone
who reject to be the shadow
who won’t bow down to any expectation

October 14th, 2021-time when I feel the most powerful to make my day

Poem | Moonlight

private document

Let’s go out and move our body
following the rhythm of welcome dance
greeting the night with warm embrace

We have enough time to play
enjoying the view that’s not too dark like usual
Let’s laugh together
till the bedtime story come
or a lullaby is sung

Take me go outside this room
to sing and dance under the full moon
Let my bare feet touch the ground
just run and run, since tomorrow is the day off

Under the moonlight,
my eyes will capture its allure
while my mind still call back the memories of childhood

October 10th, 2021

Poem | Oh, Cheerful September

photo by Rodnae Productions from pexels

Oh, cheerful September
As the time goes faster
Your end is getting closer

Oh, cheerful September
As I tripped and fell over and over
I find the reason to grow stronger

Oh, cheerful September
The day when I wake up
I choose rejection to give up

Oh, cheerful September
Although sometimes life is full of grief
I’ll answer it with tears and smile at the same time

Oh, cheerful September
Maybe I need some rest
But, I refuse to stop or else I’ll regret later

Oh, cheerful September
I go through this fear again and again
Either failure or losing
Like it’s one of a daily routine

Oh, cheerful September
You give me hope and moments to be captured
But also a farewell that doesn’t need to be remembered

September 12th, 2021-when the rain is still pouring during dry season

Poem | Forgiveness

photo by Ali Arapoglu from pexels

How many times do you have to put a smile
when the words are just sweetener on the lip tip
No one knows about your heart, which is like a battle field
where the memories are vulnerable in front of grudges

Nothing is more toxic than a fake smile while mumbling of bad things
undetected and not tasted
just left a never ending chaos

If “sorry” doesn’t ever come,
which one should be there first
between regret and forgiveness?

August 25th, 2021

Short Poem | Escape

photo by Andrew Neel from pexels

I don’t know what you put in your coffee while waiting for me to write you a poetry
I want to make sure that you won’t smell my anxiety or taste my break up tears

Drink your coffee till I’m done with my last verse
I want to know the limit of your patience
In your waiting, can you find a way to escape from me?

August 8th, 2021

Poem | He-Who-Teaches-Me-How-to-Laugh

photo by Julia Avamotive from pexels

Tell me,
that you don’t come
to give me hope
or offer a new romance
Cause I won’t be trapped in the same mistake

What do you want,
by this kind of wish?
I can’t tell,
is it a joke?
Cause you’re such a flirt

From you,
I learn how to laugh :
how life is so ridiculous
how you playfully said
that I’m your dopamine resource

Once again, you make me laugh
Keeping me in our conversations
Should it be longer,
till we finish our cups of coffee?

Let it flow or go
without pressure or compulsion
We’re just actors
that follow God’s scenario

Saturday night, end of July

Poem | A Piece of Me

photo by Julia Volk from pexels

When the world is too noisy
All I can hear are just noise
So, where’s the forgotten voice?
Is it hidden somewhere or blend in with the society?

When I’m surrounded by these nonsenses
It’s harder for me to stay sane
But, as long as my steps are on the lane
I’ll keep walking and pretend to not hear

When the noise makes me lose myself
Let this poem be a piece of me
Let it tells you of my other side
and be a reflection when I make mistakes

July 25th, 2021

Poem | Footsteps to Haste

photo by Akshaya Premjith from pexels

On your footsteps to haste
On a regret that comes after
Me, my footsteps and those destination
is the same narration with yours

I knew the emptiness in you
There’s a long waiting and an old pain
You’re waiting for helping hands
or a drop of serenity that you feel difficult to find

Everyone will wake up from their long sleeps
In my awareness, I learn about what I have to finish
before giving you an answer
or else I’ll end up swallow my bitter pills

July 19th, 2021 – during the sunset

Poem | A June Rain (Memoir of A Poet)

private document

I thought a June rain was only written in a poetry
But, I see it cover up my town almost everyday
Making the sky mourn and people lose their intentions to run the jobs

I thought a June rain was only a piece of poetic phrase
But, it’s too nostalgic to be missed or ignore
even by a passerby or a girl who curled up under the blanket

I thought a June rain was just a myth
But, it’s an anomaly that caused by human greed
so, our mother earth is angry and let go of her wrath to everybody *)

June 23rd, 2021

*) This poem was inspired by Sapardi Djoko Damono’s most well-known works, Hujan Bulan Juni, with one of the most iconic line that frequently quoted is “Tiada yang lebih tabah dari hujan di bulan Juni…“