[Lyrical Prose] Listen to Our Homeland’s Mourn

photo by pixabay from pexels

(1)

This is our homeland. One of God’s masterpiece, home of world hundreds active volcanoes; long stretch of coastline from the west to the east; heaven of tropical rainforest, various species of exotic animals and plants.

(2)

Here, we stand to welcome the sun. Surrender ourselves to the morning for the sake of new hopes.
“We’re born and die here”.

(3)

Our homeland is a piece of paradise. Mountains become the upstream of rivers and tributaries that flows happiness and life. Seeds that we sown, grow thousand grains of goodness. Human use it to support their lives.

(4)

But, our homeland is exchanged with money. Capital owners and deceitful politicians suck the citizens blood.

(5)

Mining’s everywhere, dredge up bowels of the earth. Sea and river polluted by mercury and plastic. Fishes are die. Our lungs filled with pollution.

(6)

Trees roots are not strong enough to handle the water flows. Forests are gone, converting to oil palm plantation. The villas stand tall on top of the hill, swallowing ecological areas.

(7)

When the rain comes so often, everything’s float off and die, swept away by the flood. Left pain and sorrow that will be recorded in our memory.

(8)

Our motherland endures her pain, due to the ungrateful behaviour of her children. intelligent human beings that never use their brain. Feels like the one who can take a control while they’re just souls that full of greed.

Sept 20th, 2021

Poem | Oh, Cheerful September

photo by Rodnae Productions from pexels

Oh, cheerful September
As the time goes faster
Your end is getting closer

Oh, cheerful September
As I tripped and fell over and over
I find the reason to grow stronger

Oh, cheerful September
The day when I wake up
I choose rejection to give up

Oh, cheerful September
Although sometimes life is full of grief
I’ll answer it with tears and smile at the same time

Oh, cheerful September
Maybe I need some rest
But, I refuse to stop or else I’ll regret later

Oh, cheerful September
I go through this fear again and again
Either failure or losing
Like it’s one of a daily routine

Oh, cheerful September
You give me hope and moments to be captured
But also a farewell that doesn’t need to be remembered

September 12th, 2021-when the rain is still pouring during dry season

“Welcome to The Club 27! Wish You a Long Live”

source : jogja.tribunnews.com

In the entertainment industry, Club 27 refers to a phenomenon of world musicians and celebs who died at age of 27 years. Starting from Janis Joplin’s death in 1970, who died two weeks after Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison was also found dead by suicide a year later, then it became the main idea behind the creation of Club 27.

In the years after, there’s also some musicians who died at 27, such as Brian Jones (1938), Robert Johnson (1938), Kurt Cobain (1994), Amy Winehouse (2001) till Korean singer and member of SHINee, Kim Jonghyun (2017).

So, what’s the correlation of all I wrote before with today’s topic? Does the author of this post have suicidal thought so she can join Club 27?

No, my dear. Who do you think I am to be at the same club with the world legend?

But, I hope that this isn’t my last post or “good bye message”.

So, what will happen when people reach their 27? Getting older, yes. Coming to late 20’s, of course. Closer to death, absolutely. But, what else?

Research shows that in 27, someone’s body naturally undergoes a biologically inevitable mental decline. Furthermore, the decline to mental disorders can lead to potential depression, such as feelings of sadness, anxiety and emptiness.

Sounds so scary, right? Is it because of the higher expectation and social pressure?

I’ve heard that the expectation and social pressure are getting higher when you reach 27. People will ask more frequently about your achievement in career, wealth and relationship (especially about your love life). For some people, these kind of questions can raise their level of insecurities and hurt their pride. This is why they will be more stress and depress easily.

Well, for the sake of my mental health, I think I should stop comparing myself with others. Because my insecurity exists and to be honest, it’s not easy to always have the right state of mind, then comparing “me in the present” with “me in the past” is better choice. So, what I have done? What I have gone through till today?

First, I care more about my body’s need and health

I used to eat late and skip meals too many times, especially when I was so busy or had many works to do.

I was so lazy to do workout. Meanwhile my work needs me to sit and staring at laptop screen for the damn 8 hours per day. So, yeah, I’m doing the little of physical activities which is not really good for my health. That’s why I need to change that habit.

Second, I try to love and accept myself for who I am

i’m a perfectionist. A little mistake or failure could make me frustrated. I’d blame myself for my mistake or failure.

One day I felt tired for hating and blaming on myself. It made me so sick.

Then I learnt to forgive myself. I embrace all of my mistakes, stupidities and failures. I embrace, cure all of my old pain and said to me, “it’s okay, you did great”.

Third, I could free me from toxic relationship

Almost a year ago, I broke up with my BF. Even we had plans to get married and we’re already knew each other’s parents.

You might ask why’d I broke my relationship if we planned to engage in long term commitment.

Well, I won’t tell you the detail. To be honest, I love him, but, the only thing I can say is surviving and bringing this kind of relationship to marriage will be disaster for us.

Yeah, It might not big changes. But, it’s like an achievement if I can improve some aspects of me or my life. And I have the right to celebrate it once again.

Thanks for reading and have a great day

September 1st, 2021