Poem | I Love Silence But Afraid of Being Lonely

source by Dominik Schroder on unsplash.com

Crowded in my head
Did I build a big city on it?
Did you hear any voices?

Crowded in my heart
Did I play a music?
Did you hear any voices?

I’m a mess
Taking a deep breath
Drowning in contemplation
Silence knocks my door
Lonely welcomed
I’m afraid…

Yogyakarta, September 27th, 2019-07.44 p.m.


Poem | I Envy You

source by pro church media on unsplash.com

I envy you
Because of your strength
Please, teach me how to handle the pain

I envy you
Because of your honesty
Please, teach me how to speak the truth bravely

I envy you
Because of you writing
Please, teach me how to touch others heart with your tenderness
Can you tell me what spell do you cast?

But, I also envy her
Because of her existence in your heart
Am I wrong if I want to be someone who you’re always thinking of?

Yogyakarta, September 26th, 2019-07.47 a.m.

Poem | Found a New Place

source by Shravan Vijayabaskaran on unsplash.com

We, human, won’t ever know what will happen next
Tomorrow is a mystery
Mistakes I’ve ever made
Trapped me in a regret
Tears of disappoinment
It’s not worth to remember

I found a new place
After waited for so long
I found a new place
After struggled with frustration

An agreement has written on the sky
Whispering with the softest voice
Hopes and dreams that come from the bottom of my heart
“Wake up and make a change!”

Yogyakarta, September 25th, 2019-06.48 p.m.

Poem | Take Care of My Mind

source by Jared Rice on unsplash.com

Why’d I put too much attention?
Beauty isn’t long lasting
Skin will be aging
Physical strength will be weaker

I can’t stop time
I can’t stop growing old
But, I refuse to be forgetful
My mind can’t stop thinking
Keep working

Memories of the old days
Memories of childhood
when we played together under the sun heat and rain
Memories of teenagers
when I was still naive in understanding what love is
Memories of early 20’s
when I felt that there’s big change in my life

My mind keeps it all
Before being wasted away by forgetting
Time helps to take care of those memories
Old songs and photographs can recall
While a poem helps to take care of my mind

Yogyakarta, September 24th, 2019-08.00 a.m.

*) PS : I’d like to say thank you to you all for reaching 100+ followers on my blog. I won’t go this far without your supports. Thanks for taking your time to read, like or comment on my posts. It means a lot to me. I hope I can do better next time. Have a great day, everyone! Don’t forget to be happy!

Poem | Sarcastic

source by Alice Butenko on unsplash.com

I’m tired of being nice
They used my kindness to fulfill their intentions
I’m tired of always smiling
They misunderstood me as an attention seeker
I’m tired of using metaphor
They made fun of my rhyme
I don’t like it!

I want to write a love poem
without any word “love”
I want to write a poem about you
without mention your name
I want to write sarcasm
without anyone knows that I’m being sarcastic

Yogyakarta, September 23rd, 2019-05.16 a.m.

Poem | An Old Song That Plays Too Many Times

source : pexels.com

I often imagine myself as a songwriter
who writes thousand songs about you and our memories in the past
But, I think it’d be hard
because everytime I move my pen to write my lyrics
everytime I rhyme a line of notes as the intro
I feel like imprisoned by fears
because there’s no word or note come into my head

I often imagine myself as a singer
who sings thousand songs about you and our memories in the past
But, I think it’d be hard
because everytime I try to hit the high note
everytime I enter the chorus
I feel like you strangle my neck
because the lyrics I want to sing
got stuck in my throat
and I can’t finish my singing till the end

You complained to me
about an old song that plays too many times on the radio
that you’ve heard this morning
You decided to change to another frequency
But, you still could hear it closed to your ears
Because you’re the one who played the song too many times in your head
without you realized

Yogyakarta, September 22nd, 2019-06.36 a.m.

Poem | Law of Fire (On 3 Clauses)

source by Cullan Smith on unsplash.com

Clause 1 : Jealousy

Those death glare
All over him
Pouty lips
Such a cutie
And oh, I think I saw something sparkling
Is it firework?
or sparks in her heart?

Clause 2 : Anger

My eyes didn’t trick me
How could she keep it?
Wasn’t she afraid that it’s getting bigger?
But, it’s too late now
He already pour the gasoline on
Instead of extinguishing

Clause 3 : Revenge

The sparks became bonfire
But, it’s not for giving you warmth
Not for tightening our bonding
through talking or singing along while playing a guitar
Stay away!
The fire will burn you to the death

Yogyakarta, September 21th, 2019-05.52 a.m.

Poem | I’m Afraid

I’m afraid that the same nightmare will haunt me again
I was really tortured
Their fake smile
Their evil laugh
Their sharp tounge
Their poisonous words
Their intimidating glare
Broke me into pieces

I’m afraid of meeting another hypocrites
She’s an angel in front of her allies
She’s an hero in front of her boss
But, she’s a queen of devil in front of me
So, should I give you a standing applause?
Ah, sorry, ma’am, I mean you deserve an Oscar!

I’m afraid of being imprisoned
My body
My heart
My soul
My energy
My creativity
My freedom
My time
My life
Am I too greedy?

I’m afraid of being over controlled
I’m not robot
I’m not machine
I’m not an object
I’m me, myself and I!

I’m afraid of meeting mature people
who have black heart
who said A in the morning, B in the afternoon and C in the evening
who’re so different between what they said and what’s hidden inside
who have no tolerance yet close-minded
who doesn’t know how to treat others like human
So, what kind of devil human are they?

Yogyakarta, September 18th, 2019-06.32 p.m. -office drama is so sickening-

Freedom of Art

source : pixabay.com

Art was created to break the standard and barriers which are sometimes too rigid and conservative. This can’t be separated from its nature which is one of the best way to express human feelings. Art is identical with creativity and imagination. As we all know, creativity and imagination can’t be limited. As long as inspirations or ideas are still exist, our brains still work well, our heart still can feel the beauty, then creativity and imagination will never die. Inspiration is the fuel. Five senses are like the camera which capture every inspiration that comes to us. Brain and heart are the place where the inspiration takes a process. Our body will execute it to be a beautiful art (it can be visual art, audio art or audio-visual art).

Art is about freedom, beside beauty. Because of this nature, art is difficult to be assessed and perceived. I could say that there’s no absolute assessment and perspective to assess and perceive an artwork. There’s no right and wrong in assessing an artwork because it’s not science. There’s no good and bad because it’s not about morale, ethic or manner. I have ever said in my other post that there’re only beautiful and very beautiful in art. This opinion belongs to my music teacher in high school. She said it in the beginning of her lessons when we were still 10th grader. And I still take her words as my principle and guidelines until now.

But, on the other side, freedom of art needs an honesty. Art is an expression of human feelings, so, what you feel will determine how your artwork looks like. Human feelings can’t be manipulated. Your mouth can lie, but your heart can’t. You might show your smile, so, people would see you as a happy person. But, does your heart feel that happiness too? Only you and God know what you feel in the bottom of your heart. Because art is an honest expression, then, art shouldn’t be forced and controlled by certain parties to merely fulfill their interests, so, it can damage the meaning and values of the art itself. Every art is beautiful and delicate. But, how beautiful of an artwork depends on the ability to describe the reality and touch human feelings. *)

*) this short article is just my random thought in the middle of running out of ideas.

Have a great day, everyone! Don’t forget to be happy

Poem | I’m A Poet and Lover At The Same Time

source : pexels.com

If the night gives birth to silence, then the silence will turn into a poem
A poem needs breath
Love is a poem’s breath
A poem needs pulse
Longing will keep the pulse ticking continuously
A poem needs life after death
A poet will revive it
Blowing the spirit of imagination in every word I write
Creating the title as its head
Verses as its body
Time and place as its legs

If a great poem was born from a broken heart, how many times do I have to be broken?
Whereas broken heart always occur after falling in love
Then, how do I manage it, if I’m a poet and lover at the same time?

Yogyakarta, September 14th, 2019-07.27 p.m.