Poem | Pain Cemetery

photo by Ivan Samkov from pexels

To whom should I sell this pain?
Maybe I could get a healing as an exchange
But, no one wants to buy
Although I gave the lowest price
Still no one wants
They said, “Don’t you know that we have the same pain as yours? We have too much” (while pointing at their chest)

I stopped selling or offering my pain
I’ll keep it, here and there
Based on its timeline
And in a place where it should be : the cemetery that I built in my mind

November 19th, 2021

Poem | A Letter to The Old Me

image by Free-photo from pixabay

My dear, you know that sky isn’t always blue
rain doesn’t always bring the rainbow
and wind can turn into the tornado
but, you’re always able to go through

My dear, there’s no perfect past
so is the present and future
As long as you did your best
failure shouldn’t be your regret

My dear, I’m sorry for my mistreatment
I’m sorry for every emotion I bottled up
All I want was just hold back my tears
so no one knew that I’ve cried

My dear, whoever hurt or left any scars
let them pay the debts
Pity on them who threw a gem for a gravel
You deserve the best
Better than they ever gave

October 22, 2021 – the best day of the week

Poem | Lone Wolf

photo by Federico Di Dio photography on Unsplash

They say I’m lonely
going alone everywhere
without group of peers
or a man whom I date with

They took pity on me
thinking that my life is so unlucky
for not having friends
or someone who stands by my side

Yeah, please, keep talking about that shit
keep your shallow thinking to yourself
cause we’re so unwell trained to see what unseen
an amateur to dive in to the meaning

Call me a lone wolf if you want
a member who’s outcasted of the pack
cause of her flaws
which is not cool enough to stay in, even be their shadows

I’m a lone wolf
who defeat the loneliness alone
who reject to be the shadow
who won’t bow down to any expectation

October 14th, 2021-time when I feel the most powerful to make my day

Poem | Oh, Cheerful September

photo by Rodnae Productions from pexels

Oh, cheerful September
As the time goes faster
Your end is getting closer

Oh, cheerful September
As I tripped and fell over and over
I find the reason to grow stronger

Oh, cheerful September
The day when I wake up
I choose rejection to give up

Oh, cheerful September
Although sometimes life is full of grief
I’ll answer it with tears and smile at the same time

Oh, cheerful September
Maybe I need some rest
But, I refuse to stop or else I’ll regret later

Oh, cheerful September
I go through this fear again and again
Either failure or losing
Like it’s one of a daily routine

Oh, cheerful September
You give me hope and moments to be captured
But also a farewell that doesn’t need to be remembered

September 12th, 2021-when the rain is still pouring during dry season

Poem | Forgiveness

photo by Ali Arapoglu from pexels

How many times do you have to put a smile
when the words are just sweetener on the lip tip
No one knows about your heart, which is like a battle field
where the memories are vulnerable in front of grudges

Nothing is more toxic than a fake smile while mumbling of bad things
undetected and not tasted
just left a never ending chaos

If “sorry” doesn’t ever come,
which one should be there first

between regret and forgiveness?

August 25th, 2021

Poem | A Piece of Me

photo by Julia Volk from pexels

When the world is too noisy
All I can hear are just noise
So, where’s the forgotten voice?
Is it hidden somewhere or blend in with the society?

When I’m surrounded by these nonsenses
It’s harder for me to stay sane
But, as long as my steps are on the lane
I’ll keep walking and pretend to not hear

When the noise makes me lose myself
Let this poem be a piece of me
Let it tells you of my other side
and be a reflection when I make mistakes

July 25th, 2021

Poem | Footsteps to Haste

photo by Akshaya Premjith from pexels

On your footsteps to haste
On a regret that comes after
Me, my footsteps and those destination
is the same narration with yours


I knew the emptiness in you
There’s a long waiting and an old pain
You’re waiting for helping hands
or a drop of serenity that you feel difficult to find

Everyone will wake up from their long sleeps
In my awareness, I learn about what I have to finish
before giving you an answer
or else I’ll end up swallow my bitter pills

July 19th, 2021 – during the sunset

Poem | In This Jungle

photo by Francesco Ungaro from pexels

In this jungle, we’re eyewitnesses of the cruelty and injustice
Everysecond is like cards that we bet on gambling table
This is our battlefield of goals and ambitions,
because homeland can’t grow hopes anymore
Some of them will stand with their heads up,
the others have to go home with their heads down.
In this jungle, darkness turns into an uncertainty and ignorance
Misleading us, away from the destination,
and we’ll get lost more if we can’t find any right direction

rain in the middle of June, 2021