How many times do you have to put a smile
when the words are just sweetener on the lip tip
No one knows about your heart, which is like a battle field
where the memories are vulnerable in front of grudges
Nothing is more toxic than a fake smile while mumbling of bad things
undetected and not tasted
just left a never ending chaos
If “sorry” doesn’t ever come,
which one should be there first
between regret and forgiveness?
August 25th, 2021
“No’, might make them angry, but it will make you free. If no one has ever told you, your freedom is more important than their anger”
-Nayyirah Waheed-
What does “freedom” mean to you?
Everyone might have their own definition of “free” or “freedom”.
But, no matter it is, we agree that “freedom” means we are free from subjection. In a nations or country’s case, subjection might appear in various types.
The most important and always be mentioned in our history book is colonialism by other country. Now, there’re modern subjection in economics, ideology–even what we’re facing today–pandemic.
Indonesian Founding Fathers, Bung Karno, has ever said that our struggle might be harder in the future because we have to fight against the internal enemies.
Like a prophecy, what he said becomes reality today. Corruption, poverty, radicalism, hoax spreading and hate speech, are some types of subjection that we’re fighting of.
The most dangerous enemy comes from the internal. From them, who are the closest to us. Even we can be enemies for ourselves.
Well, let me ask you something. Do you realize that your life is surrounded by people’s expectations?
If you said “yes”, then you’re not alone.
Annoyed? Tired? Stress?
Absolutely, yes.
Who’s not tired of fulfilling people’s expectations and be a people pleaser?
First, you have to be realistic and realize that you can’t please everyone. You also can’t force everyone to like you.
In the haters eyes, you’re always be a bad person. No matter how nice, kind or well manner you are, their perception about you won’t ever change.
You don’t need to always agree or say “yes” to their requests. Cause you’re just a human, not Aladdin’s genie or Cinderella’s fairy godmother.
If you want to express your disagree and rejection, make sure that you have valid reasons and strong argument. Then, express it in a respectful way.
If people don’t like of what or how you do, it’s not your business.
Your life is your responsibility. Their life are their responsibilities.
Everyone has an authority to rule and control themselves. Your mindset, your words, your attitude and behavior are things that under your control. Because you’re a leader of yourself.
Other’s mindset, words, attitude and behavior are things that out of your control. So, why are you worrying a lot of the things that you can’t control?
You have right to choose what’s the best for you. You have power to rule and control yourself without always fulfilling people’s expectations. If you can do it all, then, you’ll gain your own freedom.
*) This post is written as a reflection on 76th Independence Day of Indonesia. Hope our homeland will recover soon from its “illness“.
I couldn’t help hearing your conversation with a middle-aged man in a stall when I passed by on Sunday at 6 am. Seems like you left your anxiety and regret to be written on an article that released at a homepage even though it couldn’t be the headline. I would like to join, but, I just kept myself away from you and started to make a new conversation because I didn’t know if it was true or just an assumption that played in my head.
I remember when you visited my veranda few days ago, you ordered a poem. Were you joking? And these verses were created, with or without you read it.
Another day you asked me “when”, when it could be an ambiguity, between literal meaning or just a metaphor. Because in a pandemic wave, red zones, restrictions and the death that stalks us even more, the question of “when” is about mystery, prediction and uncertainty.
The distance that we can reach through a screen, my words are announcement without voice but heard by you on the other side which I hope is fine.
August 9th, 2021
I don’t know what you put in your coffee while waiting for me to write you a poetry
I want to make sure that you won’t smell my anxiety or taste my break up tears
Drink your coffee till I’m done with my last verse
I want to know the limit of your patience
In your waiting, can you find a way to escape from me?
August 8th, 2021
Share My Thoughts and Emotions 