Are You Free From People’s Expectations?

Photo by Olga from pexels

“No’, might make them angry, but it will make you free. If no one has ever told you, your freedom is more important than their anger”
-Nayyirah Waheed-

What does “freedom” mean to you?

Everyone might have their own definition of “free” or “freedom”.

But, no matter it is, we agree that “freedom” means we are free from subjection. In a nations or country’s case, subjection might appear in various types.

The most important and always be mentioned in our history book is colonialism by other country. Now, there’re modern subjection in economics, ideology–even what we’re facing today–pandemic.

Indonesian Founding Fathers, Bung Karno, has ever said that our struggle might be harder in the future because we have to fight against the internal enemies.
Like a prophecy, what he said becomes reality today. Corruption, poverty, radicalism, hoax spreading and hate speech, are some types of subjection that we’re fighting of.

The most dangerous enemy comes from the internal. From them, who are the closest to us. Even we can be enemies for ourselves.

Well, let me ask you something. Do you realize that your life is surrounded by people’s expectations?

If you said “yes”, then you’re not alone.

Annoyed? Tired? Stress?
Absolutely, yes.

Who’s not tired of fulfilling people’s expectations and be a people pleaser?

First, you have to be realistic and realize that you can’t please everyone. You also can’t force everyone to like you.

In the haters eyes, you’re always be a bad person. No matter how nice, kind or well manner you are, their perception about you won’t ever change.

You don’t need to always agree or say “yes” to their requests. Cause you’re just a human, not Aladdin’s genie or Cinderella’s fairy godmother.

If you want to express your disagree and rejection, make sure that you have valid reasons and strong argument. Then, express it in a respectful way.

If people don’t like of what or how you do, it’s not your business.

Your life is your responsibility. Their life are their responsibilities.

Everyone has an authority to rule and control themselves. Your mindset, your words, your attitude and behavior are things that under your control. Because you’re a leader of yourself.

Other’s mindset, words, attitude and behavior are things that out of your control. So, why are you worrying a lot of the things that you can’t control?

You have right to choose what’s the best for you. You have power to rule and control yourself without always fulfilling people’s expectations. If you can do it all, then, you’ll gain your own freedom.

*) This post is written as a reflection on 76th Independence Day of Indonesia. Hope our homeland will recover soon from its “illness“.

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