An Opinion on Women’s Life (Part 1 : Working Mom vs Stay at Home Mom)

In Indonesia, we always celebrate Kartini’s Day every April 21st. I know it’s so late, but, it’s okay to write this topic today. As long as there’re women who are discriminated, labelled or stigmatized, I have the right to speak up anything about it. Anytime, anywhere.

First, I don’t want to claim myself as a feminist. Because I think I can speak up anything I care/interest/know about without labelling myself. And I won’t force you to agree with what I write here.

Ok, then. Back to the title.

Woman is a multirole creature. They can be daughter, sister, wife, mother, member of society, citizen of country even a leader of the group/organization/institution/country. Woman is a multitasking person too. Have you ever seen a woman who’s doing chores while holding her baby? That’s one of a proof.

Today, women have the same opportunity to get better education and pursue their career. Then, the debate between working mom vs stay at home mom appears on public.

Working mom often assume that stay at home mom waste their knowledges, talents, degrees, achievements, opportunities etc. Meanwhile stay at home mom assume that working mom are too ambitious, selfish and not taking care of their families well. Sometimes, stay at home mom use religious dogma (I won’t mention certain religion here cause I don’t want to stereotyping them) to offend working mom. Meanwhile working mom, sometimes, use feminism issues to strike back.

Well, instead of arguing, why don’t we support and respect each other’s choice?

Like I said before, woman is a multi-role creature. Women have the right to choose what’s the best for their life and future. Whether they choose to be working mom or stay at home mom, they could have gone through an uneasy inner conflict. We might not know how hard the pressure they’re received from family or society.

So, if you’re lucky enough to be surrounded by supportive people and enviroment (parents, siblings, partner, friends, etc), that’s great. But, how about them, who are raised in very conservative family and society?

Have a great day, everyone. Don’t forget to be happy.

What is Loyality For?

What is loyality for? If I have to sacrifice my health (both physically and mentally).

What is loyality for? If it makes me “far away” from my family and friends. (Remember, I use ” ” on the word far away).

What is loyality for? If I have to sacrifice my time to rest (my body has its limit. So, if my body is tired, it means I need to take a rest. Honestly, I need to understand what my body wants from me).

What is loyality for? If it makes me “far away” from God? (I need my time to pray regularly)

Sorry, if I’m so selfish. But, I can turn to be selfish when I’m too exhausted of everything or everyone around me.

Poem | Year End Syndrome

image by Breakingpic from Pexels

My head feels heavier
Is it gain some weigh?
Or do I carry too much numbers?
A stack of data
Analyze and Forecasr
Deadline and presentation

Higher pressure
Suddenly everyone gets fussy
Top manager give pressure to middle manager
Middle manager give pressure to supervisor
Supervisor give pressure to the staffs
Then, who’s the staff putting pressure on?

I nag to myself, “why are you so dumb and weak?”
I push her to the edge
She doesn’t accept it
I’m angry

So, should I press myself to reach a maximum point?

Yogyakarta, November 26th, 2019-08.00 p.m.

Poem | Starting Point

image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

An euphoria disappeared slowly
My steps went so far

Those memories that left behind
Our conversations in every corner of this place
Burst out into laughter
The textbooks that we read
The difficult terms I didn’t understand
The theories, laws, code of ethics, formulas, methods
were enough to burn my brain

We won’t stay here forever
We have to go
even though to the different direction
Our graduations weren’t the end
It’s just our starting point

Yogyakarta, November 20th, 2019-08.10 p.m.

*) remembering my graduation 2 years ago

Poem | If I Stop Writing

If I stop writing
My head will explode
Because of too much thoughts

If I stop writing
My heart will break into pieces
Because I can’t take my emotions out

If I stop writing
My day will be worse than ever
Because there’s no place to escape anymore

If I stop writing
It won’t affect your life
But, it’ll affect my condition
You won’t lose anything
But, it’ll be the biggest lost for me

Yogyakarta, November 17th, 2019-06.38 p.m.

*) Notes : I made this poem as a reminder for me when I had to struggle with mood swing, laziness, procrastination, boredom and writer’s block. When I was in those conditions or when I didn’t get enough recognition, I felt like,”should I stop? should I give up?” But, I realized what’s my intention in writing. So, whatever happens, I shouldn’t stop writing. Well, Is there any condition that makes you want to stop writing? How do you get over it? Let me know your stories.

A Hell Called Workplace

image by rawpixel from pixabay

The workplace or office is full of adults from different background, knowledge, skill, experience and personality. Actually, as an adult, they can think and act like adult. Because they’re adults, they should understand the reponsibilty. Adults should know how to distinguish between right and wrong. Their mindset has built up, so, they can take an action and make their own decision.

But, in reality, I always find people (both of employees and bosses) who do not understand their responsibilities, unable to respect others (treated others like robot or machine, not human), put forward their own egos etc.

I have had a boss in my previous workplace that do not understand the rules and procedures. She never wanted to be blamed even though what she actually did was wrong. She’d rather trust the flatterers than those who tell the truth and show her the fact.

And you know, she fired 2 employees from production division and 1 accounting SPV. What surprised me was that the reason for their dismissal wasn’t a logical cause. Not long after they fired, one of my coworker in the same division with me, resigned cause she couldn’t deal with the boss attitude anymore.

When I wanted to resign, the company was looking for my successor. The company asked me to taught her anything that she’d do as her job desc.

After 3 days I accompanied her, I tried to let go of my assistance. And the next day I was forced to come to the office after she had told me that she had been intimidated by the boss. I remembered that she told me while crying back then. Finally, she only worked in the company for 1 week then decided to left.

The workplace should be an arena for healthy competition and collaboration. Not a battlefield between parties who have ‘certain interests’. Not a place for character assassination.

The adult world should not be too much drama. But, in reality, there’re many people who love to create ‘the office dramas’. And I really hate this situation. That’s why I always avoid it. I don’t care if they consider me as indifferent, cold, apathetic and so on. Well, I also don’t like and have no time for those kind of dramas.

Have a great day, everyone! Don’t forget to be happy

Writer’s Dilemma : Principles and Idealism vs Market Taste

photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexel.com

There’s a romance novelist I knew on blogging community shared her thought and concern about sex and violence scenes in popular romance stories, especially on platform, like wattpad and fanfiction.net. In her opinion, that scene is too vulgar and she worried if it’d damage the youngster’s moral and mentalities, especially underage readers. Okay, I don’t want to talk about “eastern culture” or “moral and ethic” here, because the explanation will be longer and kinda risky in rising a heated argument. But, yeah I know what she feels cause I have the same worries. As a romance novelist, she regretted the creativity of romance story writers whom she considered to be limited only to sex and violence scenes.

She also regretted why romance stories with the nuances of sex and violence became more popular and loved by many people. When she shared her opinion, one of her friend called her as “moralist” (in a mocking tone).

Moralist (n) is a person who has strong ideas about moral principles, especially one who tells people how they should behave
(Oxford Advanved Learner’s Dictionary)
I wonder what’s wrong if someone is considered as moralist? Please, tell me if it’s good or bad!

Have Your Own Principles and Idealism

Every writer must have uniqueness and writing style. Our writing style usually almost similar with the way we talk. If you try to copy others writing style, even he/she is your role model, your writing seems has no soul. Because you write like others, not yourself.

Principles and idealism in writing are also important owned by every writer. My blogger friend that I’ve told you about at the beginning, has the principle and idealism not to include sex and violence scene in her works (even drugs and alcoholic drinks are shown only a little as an explanatory, not a major element).

There’s another blogger friend who’s more senior (both age and experience) , always including his personal experiences as real examples of what he wrote. His writings are rich in life wisdom and very characterized (he’s already three quarters of a century old, so his life experiences are numerous).

I have principles and idealism in writing, which is not only able to entertain but also educate, both myself and others. I also maintain the principles of simplicity, honesty and sincerity in writing. I don’t want my writing is only about bundle of words, but also has meaning and able to touch others heart or make others brain work to think, even though only 1 or 2 people.

Idealism vs Market Taste

An idealist writer often find dilemma between maintain the idealism or follow the market taste. If you’re an Indonesian, I’m sure you know how’s the quality of our TV programs today, especially shitnetron (I mean sinetron) and FTV. I have ever read an article that contained interviews with some sinetron and FTV script writers. They claimed to the media that their scripts often have to be revised because the scripts were considered as “too intelectual” so people will find it difficult to understand. “People” referred to here is the lower middle class and uneducated people.

For me, there’re 2 things I want to criticize. First, this country actually never lack of smart and creative script writers. But they’re forced to meet market tastes and pursue ratings, that’s why they’re being forced to sacrifice their principles and idealism. Secondly, if the target is lower middle class and uneducated people, can’t they produce entertainment programs with “better quality” but still entertaining? “A better quality” doesn’t mean it must be “too intelectual”. Got the point?

Okay, back to the topic. Honestly, I’m sad yet embarassed to know how pitiful the readers tastes (and TV viewers) in this +62 country. I’m sorry, I do not intended to humiliate my country itself. Like a TV programs, can’t romance writers write love stories that aren’t vulgar but still romantic? Love is universal language besides music, so, don’t narrow the meaning of love with such ragged romance stories like that. And love must not only be shown by sexual desire. Only narrow minded people who think that sex is the only way to show how you love someone.

Writing love stories that fit in market tastes (applies to any type and genre of writing) will probably bring more popularity and money. So, should our principles and idealism be traded with those kind of things?

Have a great day everyone! Don’t forget to be happy.

Poem | Sarcastic

source by Alice Butenko on unsplash.com

I’m tired of being nice
They used my kindness to fulfill their intentions
I’m tired of always smiling
They misunderstood me as an attention seeker
I’m tired of using metaphor
They made fun of my rhyme
I don’t like it!

I want to write a love poem
without any word “love”
I want to write a poem about you
without mention your name
I want to write sarcasm
without anyone knows that I’m being sarcastic

Yogyakarta, September 23rd, 2019-05.16 a.m.

Poem | I’m Afraid

I’m afraid that the same nightmare will haunt me again
I was really tortured
Their fake smile
Their evil laugh
Their sharp tounge
Their poisonous words
Their intimidating glare
Broke me into pieces

I’m afraid of meeting another hypocrites
She’s an angel in front of her allies
She’s an hero in front of her boss
But, she’s a queen of devil in front of me
So, should I give you a standing applause?
Ah, sorry, ma’am, I mean you deserve an Oscar!


I’m afraid of being imprisoned
My body
My heart
My soul
My energy
My creativity
My freedom
My time
My life
Am I too greedy?

I’m afraid of being over controlled
I’m not robot
I’m not machine
I’m not an object
I’m me, myself and I!
Noted!

I’m afraid of meeting mature people
who have black heart
who said A in the morning, B in the afternoon and C in the evening
who’re so different between what they said and what’s hidden inside
who have no tolerance yet close-minded
who doesn’t know how to treat others like human
So, what kind of devil human are they?

Yogyakarta, September 18th, 2019-06.32 p.m. -office drama is so sickening-

Freedom of Art

source : pixabay.com

Art was created to break the standard and barriers which are sometimes too rigid and conservative. This can’t be separated from its nature which is one of the best way to express human feelings. Art is identical with creativity and imagination. As we all know, creativity and imagination can’t be limited. As long as inspirations or ideas are still exist, our brains still work well, our heart still can feel the beauty, then creativity and imagination will never die. Inspiration is the fuel. Five senses are like the camera which capture every inspiration that comes to us. Brain and heart are the place where the inspiration takes a process. Our body will execute it to be a beautiful art (it can be visual art, audio art or audio-visual art).

Art is about freedom, beside beauty. Because of this nature, art is difficult to be assessed and perceived. I could say that there’s no absolute assessment and perspective to assess and perceive an artwork. There’s no right and wrong in assessing an artwork because it’s not science. There’s no good and bad because it’s not about morale, ethic or manner. I have ever said in my other post that there’re only beautiful and very beautiful in art. This opinion belongs to my music teacher in high school. She said it in the beginning of her lessons when we were still 10th grader. And I still take her words as my principle and guidelines until now.

But, on the other side, freedom of art needs an honesty. Art is an expression of human feelings, so, what you feel will determine how your artwork looks like. Human feelings can’t be manipulated. Your mouth can lie, but your heart can’t. You might show your smile, so, people would see you as a happy person. But, does your heart feel that happiness too? Only you and God know what you feel in the bottom of your heart. Because art is an honest expression, then, art shouldn’t be forced and controlled by certain parties to merely fulfill their interests, so, it can damage the meaning and values of the art itself. Every art is beautiful and delicate. But, how beautiful of an artwork depends on the ability to describe the reality and touch human feelings. *)

*) this short article is just my random thought in the middle of running out of ideas.

Have a great day, everyone! Don’t forget to be happy