Are Critical and Hard-Headed People The Same?

teamwork illustration-source :

I’m used to working individually or in teams, so are you. Working in teams is more difficult, challenging but fun at the same time. Why do I say it’s more difficult and challenging? Because, in a team always consist of many people from different character, habit, thoughts and background meanwhile we would like to make the goals and aims come true. Here, we have to learn how to put yourself well in the team. There’re always problems and conflicts. But, we can grow up together to be more mature because of them.

In a team, we can find teammates who are quiet or talkative, cool and calm or bold and daring, laid-back or perfectionist, humorous or serious, etc. And I bet you have teammates who are critical and opinionated. Critical person usually straight-forward and not afraid to stand up for him/herself or others. They are not afraid to say “wrong” if it’s wrong and “right” if it’s right. They tend to be not caring of what others think and say. As long as they have logical reasons to do or say something (especially if they disagree with something), then go for it.

They often misunderstood by people as intimidating, judgemental and hard-headed. So, according to the title, what’s the difference between hard-headed and critical person?

Critical (adj.) 1. indicating the faults in somebody/something or one’s disapproval of somebody/something; (2) [attrib] of or relating to judgement or analysis of something, esp literature, art etc; (3) (a) of or at a crisis, e.g. We are at a critical time in our country’s history; The patient’s condition is critical (b) of the greatest importance/crucial. Meanwhile hard-headed (adj.) means not allowing one’s emotions to affect one’s opinions or decisions. [1]

A critical person usually don’t trust someone/something easily. When they receive information or news, they’ll check the validity and truth first before they decide to trust it or not. They have “good eyes” to indicate mistakes on someone/something even the smallest things and they know how to correct them.

A hard-headed person usually has problem in understanding others feeling and needs. They rarely want to listen to others and hard to advised. These kind of people often gave a hard time to their parents and teachers when they were children.

These two kind of characters often make people irritated. Critical people are considered annoying because they put too much attention on small things and details which most people don’t think is important. Even they can nagging on small mistakes. Meanwhile hard-headed people are considered irritating because they often disobey the rules or others words. Whereas the rules or what people said might be right and good for them. But, their hard-headedness make them hard to listen to others.

So, how do you deal with these kind of people, especially in your team? Based on my own experience, having critical teammates is an advantage for me because their existence have opened my eyes and mind to be more objective and see the problems from different angle. Their existence can make a team more dynamic, colorful and different in implementing the ideas.

Sometimes, dealing with hard-headed people can drain my patience. But, I need to control myself when I talk to them, especially when I disagree with them and want to refute their opinions. If I feel like I’d lose control, I’d rather succumb and calm myself down than get into heated argument with them (tbh, I don’t really like arguing with others even though I’m right. Because I might hurt them, both mentally and physically, if I force myself to get in when my emotions aren’t stable).

Have a great day everyone! Don’t forget to be happy.

Reference :

[1] Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary. Oxford University Press. 1995

[Self-Reflection] Happiness On Social Media

What are you looking for?

Making your face brighter, more red lips or looks like you have slim figure. Actually, you have no that looks. Huh, it’s a lie, dear! How could you do that?

Taking a photo of what eat today, with an instagramable serving or background behind you.

Posting your romantic Saturday Night photos with your boyfriend/girlfriend, with a #relationshipgoals (I wonder what’s the meaning of relationship goals itself) Although you’ll feel difficult to delete all the photos later or posting a broken-heart status when you break up.

Showing off of your branded items you’ve bought. Making others jealous and craving to have it even though they have no enough money. Maybe it’s not their needs, just for rising their prestige if they can have it.

Showing off of your new workplace in multinational or international company, claiming “that’s what success looks like”. If others haven’t already reach your level, then you underestimate them. Actually, you don’t know that everyone else is doing something on their dreams. Have I ever told you that “life isn’t a races?” Everything needs a process, dear! There’s no instant process. A process needs your sacrifice (time, money, mental strength or maybe your emotions). And there’s no fix standard on describing “success”.

So, what are you looking for?

Recognition? Compliments? Comments? Like?

Then, what will happen to you if you don’t get all of them?

If you describe what you see on social media as a happiness, what about people that prefer to keep it themselves? Just posting a certain photo or sharing a certain moment at least one or two times in a month. Aren’t they happy with their life?

You can’t see what happiness looks like. You can’t smell, taste or touch it. You only can feel it in your deepest heart.

*) Sorry, if it makes you feel triggered or uncomfortable cause I’m kinda sick of what happened on social media today. Have a great day everyone! Don’t forget to be happy 😊

Yogyakarta, June 12th, 2019-06.38 a.m.