I Still Write A Poem About You

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Do you remember when we chased each other in the rain to come first at the bus stop? You overtook me at the junction while mocked at me. I got sulky and hit you playfully when I came behind you. Then we laughed together. We were still 15 years old back then. And we’re proud of doing this sillyness.

Do you remember when we sent warm greetings towards each other on the radio every night? You and I were radio listeners, radio lovers. Maybe the current generation never know how it feels about send greetings or just request a song for your friends, crush, boyfriend/girlfriend or ex through the radio anymore. Like we did when we were still teenagers.

Do you remember when we met an annoying old man who made a fuss on the bus? All of passengers were quiet. Paying attention of what’s happening. We stared each other while hold our grudges. When we getting off of the bus, we released our nags. We cursed him a lot.

I still write a poem about you not because I’m sad we can’t be together anymore. I just want to thanked you for making a great memory with me.

I still write a poem about you not because I’m still love you even though I’ve ever had a crush on you when I was in middle school. I just want to keep our secrets and stories in my journal, so I can open it again when I feel like giving up about my life and dreams.

Yogyakarta, June 18th, 2019-11.53 a.m.

No Room For Heart Breaker Like You

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What do you want from me?

There’s nothing left from me

No love, no affection, no hope

Our love story has ended

The writers can’t write romance anymore

It’s time to close the book and write about wounds (then rip it)

Write about my new hope (of course, without you)

Write about my new dreams (of course, without you)

Write about my new days (of course, without you)

I’m ready to rip the old pages and replace them with another blank pages

***

Our love story has ended

The writer’s can’t write romance anymore

I’ll erase the letter ‘L’ in ‘Love’ , replace it with the letter ‘M’ and add ‘on’ next to it

I have no time to cry over our break up cause my tears were dried

I have no room and space for broken heart anymore cause there’s no room for heart breaker like you

Kota Wali, June 3rd, 2019-10.57 a.m.

The Last Station and Our Never-Ending Debate

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If I could stop the time, I wouldn’t waste my time to dive in your deep dark eyes. From those eyes I could realize that you’ve kept the secrets since we’re not mature enough to understand love and hate. We were into an argument of mystery of night sky and morning sky that unveiled all mysteries. Although we knew each other that the debate will never find ‘agree’ or ‘disagree’ as a result.

***

In the last station, we sat next to each other on the old bench that’s even older than our parents age. We’re into the never-ending debate again till tired then decided to shut our mouth few minutes later. Maybe we ran out of conversations or just too tired to argue. Then I heard you sang a sad song which made me recalled our memories of the old days.

***

The train has passed one by one. Our memories passed one by one in my head. You always know how to trigger my mind and messed up with my feeling. The last station becomes silent witness of many encounter and farewell.

***

I have to go”, you said to me 5 minutes before the last train arrive.

You throw a jaded glance at me. Waiting for my response. Asking for my answer. Hoping I would hold your hands and make you stay here.

***

You feel heaviness on your legs as the train arrive. You glance at me one more time.

You have to go. I’m okay.”

I can feel my body’s trembling and try to hold my tears back.

You stroke my hair.

Whispering in my ears, “Don’t worry. I’ll be back. I’ll miss our never-ending debate. The last station will always be the best place to gather our love.”

Kota Wali, June 2nd, 2019-07.36 a.m.