A Poem of Depression

photo by Sasha Freemind on unsplash

I wish I was brave enough to speak louder
till your ears are gonna be deaf
I wish I was brave enough to slap your face
till your awareness are awaken
I wish I was brave enough to release my anger towards you
till you realize that my anger is dangerous

Sometimes, I’m tired of being nice
Sometimes, I’m tired of being polite
Sometimes, I’m tired of being a lady-like
Sometimes, I’m tired of following the rules

Sometimes, I want to make them afraid of me
Sometimes, I don’t want to be kind
Sometimes, I don’t want to follow the rules
Don’t want to do anything
Or disappear from this cruel world

Sometimes, I want to kill someone
Or kill myself
But, there’s no bravery
for a coward like me

Yogyakarta, November 2nd, 2019-06.52 p.m.