“Welcome to The Club 27! Wish You a Long Live”

source : jogja.tribunnews.com

In the entertainment industry, Club 27 refers to a phenomenon of world musicians and celebs who died at age of 27 years. Starting from Janis Joplin’s death in 1970, who died two weeks after Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison was also found dead by suicide a year later, then it became the main idea behind the creation of Club 27.

In the years after, there’s also some musicians who died at 27, such as Brian Jones (1938), Robert Johnson (1938), Kurt Cobain (1994), Amy Winehouse (2001) till Korean singer and member of SHINee, Kim Jonghyun (2017).

So, what’s the correlation of all I wrote before with today’s topic? Does the author of this post have suicidal thought so she can join Club 27?

No, my dear. Who do you think I am to be at the same club with the world legend?

But, I hope that this isn’t my last post or “good bye message”.

So, what will happen when people reach their 27? Getting older, yes. Coming to late 20’s, of course. Closer to death, absolutely. But, what else?

Research shows that in 27, someone’s body naturally undergoes a biologically inevitable mental decline. Furthermore, the decline to mental disorders can lead to potential depression, such as feelings of sadness, anxiety and emptiness.

Sounds so scary, right? Is it because of the higher expectation and social pressure?

I’ve heard that the expectation and social pressure are getting higher when you reach 27. People will ask more frequently about your achievement in career, wealth and relationship (especially about your love life). For some people, these kind of questions can raise their level of insecurities and hurt their pride. This is why they will be more stress and depress easily.

Well, for the sake of my mental health, I think I should stop comparing myself with others. Because my insecurity exists and to be honest, it’s not easy to always have the right state of mind, then comparing “me in the present” with “me in the past” is better choice. So, what I have done? What I have gone through till today?

First, I care more about my body’s need and health

I used to eat late and skip meals too many times, especially when I was so busy or had many works to do.

I was so lazy to do workout. Meanwhile my work needs me to sit and staring at laptop screen for the damn 8 hours per day. So, yeah, I’m doing the little of physical activities which is not really good for my health. That’s why I need to change that habit.

Second, I try to love and accept myself for who I am

i’m a perfectionist. A little mistake or failure could make me frustrated. I’d blame myself for my mistake or failure.

One day I felt tired for hating and blaming on myself. It made me so sick.

Then I learnt to forgive myself. I embrace all of my mistakes, stupidities and failures. I embrace, cure all of my old pain and said to me, “it’s okay, you did great”.

Third, I could free me from toxic relationship

Almost a year ago, I broke up with my BF. Even we had plans to get married and we’re already knew each other’s parents.

You might ask why’d I broke my relationship if we planned to engage in long term commitment.

Well, I won’t tell you the detail. To be honest, I love him, but, the only thing I can say is surviving and bringing this kind of relationship to marriage will be disaster for us.

Yeah, It might not big changes. But, it’s like an achievement if I can improve some aspects of me or my life. And I have the right to celebrate it once again.

Thanks for reading and have a great day

September 1st, 2021

Poem | In This Jungle

photo by Francesco Ungaro from pexels

In this jungle, we’re eyewitnesses of the cruelty and injustice
Everysecond is like cards that we bet on gambling table
This is our battlefield of goals and ambitions,
because homeland can’t grow hopes anymore
Some of them will stand with their heads up,
the others have to go home with their heads down.
In this jungle, darkness turns into an uncertainty and ignorance
Misleading us, away from the destination,
and we’ll get lost more if we can’t find any right direction

rain in the middle of June, 2021

Poem | Winner

photo by Tirachard Kumtanom from pexels

Can I be a winner without weapons and soldiers behind?”

Push my limits out of the borderline
to have a better sight
of what I can and can’t
threat and chance
on all four quadrants

Change happens to all
permanent or temporal
like a mood swing
the daily dose of on and off

Or going through the hardest part
purify my heart at the start
from any stain that blocks the light
so I can get lost on the right track
and know which side I have to stand up

May 15th, 2021

Contemplation of Kartini’s Day in Pandemic

Kartini, Indonesian hero of emancipation-photo by padmaresortubud.com

What do you think when we talk about woman?

Someone who gives birth and takes care of life? Someone who can do and be whatever she wants? Someone with tenderness and power at the same time?

Or

Someone who has lower status than men? Victims of patriarchal system? or just sexual objects for men’s satisfaction?

Hundred years ago, we rarely found well-educated young women in our society here, especially in Javanese Land. The tradition forced young women to be secluded at home (pingitan) and waiting for the wedlock.

Many young women lost their youth too early. They lost their dreams, freedoms, rights to get better and higher education. They really had no power to refuse.

The same thing happened to a 12 year old Kartini. Luckily, she was born into a noble family with strong intellectual tradition. That’s why, her family allowed her to attend school before her seclusion.

Among other subjects she got from school, she learned Dutch (and fluent in it), an unusual accomplishment for Javanese woman at that time.

During seclusion, girls weren’t allowed to leave their parents house until they were married. But, Kartini’s father was more lenient. He gave his daughter privilege to attend special events in public with him and took embroidery lessons.

Kartini also self-educated herself during seclusion by read many books, newspapers and European magazines. She had deep interests in European feminist thinking and desired to strive an education for women so that they could be equal with men.

She also discussed her ideas a lot to her several Dutch pen pals, such as Rosa Abendanon, Stella Zeehandelaar, Mrs.Ovink Soer, through her letters. Later, after Kartini’s died on September 17th, 1904 (at the age of 25), Mr. J.H. Abendanon, Minister of Culture, Religion and Industry for East Indies, collected and published her letters that she had sent to her friends in Europe.

Kartini Today

Hundred years after Kartini’s died, we commemorate her birthday every April 21st. If it’s not in pandemic, we would see every female, in schools, offices, public services wears kebaya (an upper garment opened at the front traditionally, made from lightweight fabrics, such as brocade, cotton, gauze, lace or voile) and completed with “sarong kebaya”(jarik) as a bottom.

kebaya, photo by beepdo.com

We would see parades in the street and held events to enliven the commemoration.

So, how do we commemorate Kartini’s Day without those fanfares?

Pandemic that makes us to stay at our homes, should be our contemplation of how the ideas can make a change even though our bodies are trapped in a seclusion.

People can imprison our bodies, but not our minds. Not our ideas.

Kartini proved to us that woman can use her potentials to empower herself and others.

She proved to us how a woman can have such thought that’s beyond its times and being the inspiration to the next generations.

We should be thankful of her ideas of emancipation even though we still have long run to fight for gender equality. Because it’s not easy to change an old tradition that passed down from generations to generations.

We need more women who aren’t afraid of expressing their thoughts. We need more women who aren’t afraid to break the old beliefs that have no relevance to our lives today.

I’m glad that many forums give us chances to talk about women and the issues around them this month. And I hope that in the future we can see more women speak through her works.

-Waiting for iftar (ngabuburit) in the end of April 2021-

The First 10 Days of Ramadhan (Not A Bedtime Story)

Assalamualaikum, Ramadhan!

How do you feel today? Please, forgive us for not giving you a warm and cheerful greeting like previous years. It doesn’t mean that we’re not happy for your coming. But, this pandemic makes us to stay at home for school, work and pray. In other words, we make our home as a center of our activities, including praying. Yeah, you know, prevent is better than cure.

Although there’s no greeting like usual, I’m still thankful to Him for giving me health and chance to meet you again. And I didn’t realize that first 10 days will pass soon. So, there’s something I want to confess.

I’m sorry if I still let my laziness control me. I feel like I treat you so badly by not showing my gratitude and interest toward you. I still often procrastinate to pray on time. I still often prioritize worldly pleasure over the more important things. And this heart still keeps hatred, jealousy, prejudice etc. It makes me think, am I too weak so the devil inside me can’t be defeated easily?

Well, if you feel disappointed, I can understand why. Cause if I were you, I’d feel the same. So, would you like to give me chance on 20 days left?

Yogyakarta, May 3rd, 2020-10.22 p.m.

Short Poem | In-Between

photo by Rafal Naczynski from unsplash

What if I choose nothing?
What if I choose both?
What if I choose to be moderate?
If our lives contain many perspectives,
why we are forced to fit into any extreme?

Yogyakarta, December 25th, 2019-08.45 p.m.

*) Merry Christmas for those who celebrate it. Hope you guys are healthy and happy.

Poem | Where Should I Go to Escape?

If I can’t write my fate, why would I try so hard?

If there’s no change would happen, why would I still go on process?

If I can’t change the direction, why are there so many ways?

*

I wonder if my compass is broken

Cause I got confused and lost everytime I found the crossroad

What I thought would be the highway, turned out to be a steep, thorny road

What I thought would be my destiny, turned out to be my next mistakes

*

I thought everything was wrong from the start

My regret won’t be able to return the time

I want to change the direction

But, where should I go to escape?

Yogyakarta, November 11th, 2019-08.04 p.m.

[Self-Reflection] How Helpful Am I To Others?

source : pexels.com

[And said] “If you do good, you do good for youselves; if you do evil (you do it) to yourselves.” Then when the final promise came. [We sent your enemies] to sadden your faces and to enter the temple in Jerussalem, as they entered it the first time, and to destroy what they had taken over with [total] destruction.

(Surah Al-Isra : 7-Noble Qur’an with English Translation)

If you are asked, what’s your life purpose? How do you answer it? The answers might be different from one to another, based on how you see this life from your own perspectives. But, most of them want to be helpful person to others. We want to be someone who can share kindness and love toward others, especially people whom we loved.

Benefit is the result from what we have done. For example, you have good habit and lifestyle, like eat healthy food, doing exercise, enough sleeping, good at handling stress etc., so you can be healthy, both physically and mentally. Having healthy body and mind is the benefit of implementing good habit and lifestyle.

Another example, you like reading in your spare time. You like reading everything. Book, newspaper, magazines, online articles etc. You like to read various topics. Politic, law, economic and business, humanities, technology, health, literature even entertainment etc. Because of this habit, you have broad knowledges so you can get many ideas and inspirations to write something. Having broad knowledges and many ideas to write are the benefit you can get from reading.

Meanwhile, the purpose or goals is something we would like to achieve in the future. Everyone wants to reach the success in their life. Whether it’s about academic, career, friendship, love etc. Success can be achieved with effort and prayer. Or with some bad acts, like bring others down. But, I won’t talk about the second thing.

In this case, reaching a success is the goals, meanwhile effort and prayer are the way you choose to reach the goals. If the success make us being a person who loves to share and inspiring others, means our success have already given benefit for ourselves and others.

The next question is, has your success (including mine) been able to benefit for others, at least for the people who’s closest to you (read : family and friends)? The answer is only known by you and God. But, I’ll give you some questions more which can help you to answer it (I hope it’ll help you).

Does the success keep you humble or arrogant? Does the success make you love and respect people around you more (esp. family and friends) or make you more ignorant to them? Does the success make you more grateful to God or make you more forgetful to thank Him (If you have beliefs that God is exists, you may answer it. But, if don’t, I won’t force you to answer)? And the last, does your success make you more mature and wise in seeing your life or make you become narrow-minded and heartless?

These questions aren’t only for you, but for me too. I’m sorry I give you too much questions in my writing today.

Have a great day everyone! Don’t forget to be happy.

If The Time Turns Into A Ghost, Where Are You Going To Hide?

source : pixabay.com

In this life, we always race against the time. The time slowly erases our age number till its end. If it comes to us, we’ll only be people who carry out our stories.

We’re the true explorer who wander to taste bitter-sweetness of life, find wisdom and sometimes immerse ourselves into contemplation. The time shows us some unexpected places, brings us together with another names and creates a beautiful memories on our minds. But, the time slowly cut out of the distance between life and death without us knowing it.

The time is like a mystery. It can make us find the answers of questions then mislead us to another questions.

We are all walk in the time tunnel. Sometimes, we have to grope the walls in the dark to keep ourselves going and not falling. Sometimes, we have to leave memories trace on every path we have passed. Sometimes, we have to quit on the crossroad to think again which way should we choose for the next journey.

In this journey, there’re always people who are ready and not ready. The time doesn’t know the word ‘wait‘. If you’re not ready, it can be a ghost who will chase and stab you. And if the time turns into a ghost, where are you going to hide?

Yogyakarta, May 23rd, 2019-08.34 a.m.

*) P.S. : I don’t know whether I use the proper grammar or not