It’s been a while since my last post in the middle of September 2020 ago. A lot of things happened to me in 2020. Good, bad, bitter, sweet, sadness, happiness etc. I’ve had to struggle to keep my health and sanity as well. Thankfully, I could handle it. So, how’s your 2020? I hope you all did great.
As I’ve ever said on my old posts, writing means a lot to me. My hobby, my passion, my way to express thought and feeling, my way to share and encourage others, even my stress reliever. That’s why I still write during my absence on WordPress. Yeah, I keep writing, but on another platform.
I’ve thought to quit and leave WordPress before. But, it’s also dilematic at the same time. I wanted to quit and leave. But, what’s the reason?
I’m not the one who loves to do something without any specific purpose and reason. If I don’t know why I should do something, if I don’t know what I’m doing it for, then I might doubt of what I do. So, here I am. Come back.
Well, it’s a bit awkward to write this kind of letter excuse. Since I haven’t written anything in English for almost 5 months, I’m sorry if I couldn’t state my word properly.
Why do I have to put a smile,if all I want is crying? I won’t run out of tears cause I keep it for a reason that you might know or not except I sell it for the sake of attention
I regret and thankful of what you’ve created I hate and love every footstep you’ve left Never disappeared even though dry and wet months always change Is forgetting really necessary?
My memory isn’t good enough to memorize every single A to Z But, you could force me to remember those pains with every detail and piece of your act You taught me to forgive to make a peace and accept the fact that I should raise the white flag so you could attack But, I won’t For sure
*) Note : I wrote this poem to remembering my best friend who passed away in the beginning of June 2020. Actually, today is her birthday. Since I miss her a lot, but can’t congratulate her anymore, I decided to write this poem.
I’m tired of this warning that always be doctrine to steal ‘me’ from myself
In the name of safety, modesty or men’s authority the laws told me to bow 90 degree in front of Your Majesty to protect my dignity
Cause I have no place to stay Heaven is only for a lovely lady who doen’t mind to trade her choice becoming a slave under your feet so you can’t be dethroned
But, I’m too rebel Not a good girl who you can handle So, you have to be with an angel Cause I’ll back to the hell except I can win over this battle
Yogyakarta, July 14th, 2020-08.43 a.m.
*) Note : A word ‘pledoi’ comes from Dutch, ‘pleidooi’, which means defense. In law field, pledoi is a term that refers to the last attempt of the defendant or attorney to defend the client’s rights, defend the truth he believes in, according to the evidences that revealed in the court.
Allofyouarebeautiful. Nomatterwhat’syourskincolor, hairstyle, shortortall, thinorthick. Don’tlettheothersdictateyouabouthowthebeautylookslike. Youbetterdefine your own beauty. Don’ttrustthebeautystandardthatmuch. Ifyou’remorethankful, you’llstarttoloveyourself. Later, you’llrealizethateveryoneisspecialontheirownway.
You aren’t only about your face and body. You have brain. You have talent. You have beautiful heart and soul. You have the right to grow up. You have the right to have your choices. You have the right to learn anything you want. You have the right to be respected. You have the right to be treated equally. You have the right to speak up your mind. Don’t let them underestimate you! Keep your head up and show them who you truly are!
You might have high academic degree. You might have high salary. You might have high position. But, you need to know your position in your household. Control your ego. Be humble. Respect and obey your husband. Be a good mother to your children.
Doing chores, cooking, giving the best service to your husband, doesn’t mean you’re his maid. It doesn’t mean that he’s your boss. That’s your responsibilty as a wife. That’s a kind of how you express your gratitude of his sacrifice toward you. Instead of complaining how hard your chores, why don’t you discuss it with your husband? Remember, I said DISCUSS! Not ARGUING! Not FIGHTING! So, please talk to him heart to heart and control your emotions.
You shouldn’t attack each other just to catch men’s attention. You shouldn’t offend and judge another women who have different opinion, value, choices with you. “Girls compete each other, women empower one another”. So, can you see the difference?
Don’t hide yourself behind the statement, “lady’s first” when you see an an old man doesn’t get a seat on a public transportation! Cause the one who must be prioritized more is him, not you. How if he’s sick? How if he’s so exhausted and can’t stand up for a long time? How if he’s your own father and he’s treated like that?Just because you’re women, doesn’t mean you must always be prioritized first. There’s time or situation that you should succumb for the common good.
It’s okay if you hate patriarchy. It’s okay if you hate toxic masculinity. It’s okay if you hate gender inequality. But, if you hate men, I think you should fix your mind. Cause men and women aren’t rival. They’re partner. So,they should be together to make the world a better place to stay.
I wrote this letter not only for you. It’s my self-reminder too. In this world where women haven’t free from sexual harassment, objectification and discrimination yet, I hope women can fight for their rights, but also knowing and taking their responsibilities without too much excuses.
How do you feel today? Please, forgive us for not giving you a warm and cheerful greeting like previous years. It doesn’t mean that we’re not happy for your coming. But, this pandemic makes us to stay at home for school, work and pray. In other words, we make our home as a center of our activities, including praying. Yeah, you know, prevent is better than cure.
Although there’s no greeting like usual, I’m still thankful to Him for giving me health and chance to meet you again. And I didn’t realize that first 10 days will pass soon. So, there’s something I want to confess.
I’m sorry if I still let my laziness control me. I feel like I treat you so badly by not showing my gratitude and interest toward you. I still often procrastinate to pray on time. I still often prioritize worldly pleasure over the more important things. And this heart still keeps hatred, jealousy, prejudice etc. It makes me think, am I too weak so the devil inside me can’t be defeated easily?
Well, if you feel disappointed, I can understand why. Cause if I were you, I’d feel the same. So, would you like to give me chance on 20 days left?