Glass Heart (Confession-Part 2)

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I think it’s my biggest weakness among all weaknesses I have. On the other side, it can be my strength even though people only see it as a weakness. So, I could say that it’s my weakness and strength at the same time. Depends on the situation and condition. But, how come?

Honestly, my heart is so fragile. I’m a sensitive person who’s offended easily. . Just one word or rude behaviour you do, can make me offended (can even be remembered for a lifetime and become a grudge in my heart). I can’t handle when someone treated me so harshly. Destructive critics and rejection can make me stress and frustration. That’s why I often call myself as a “glass-hearted” person because my heart is broken easily like a glass when it’s getting hit. If you’re Indonesian, you can consider it as “baperan”.

But on the other hand, I feel it could be an advantage for me. I became more careful in my words and actions, so it’d not hurt anyone. Because I know how it feels when someone treated you like a shit. I know how it feels when there’s nobody accept who you truly are. With my glass heart, I know how to speak or act to comfort others when they’re up and down.

I realized that my overly sensitive nature was not good for me, especially in social activities and interactions with others. Since I started growing up, I learned to use my logic besides feelings. For me, logic and feelings should complement and balance each other. My overly sensitive nature may be due to lack of using my common sense. I overused my feelings. And to prevent the damage of my over sensitivity, I learn to act indifferent to those who try to mess up with me.

Have a great day everyone! Don’t forget to be happy.

*) P.S.: I make small challenge for myself to confess my bad traits through writing and publish it. I do not mean to blame on myself because everyone has their own flaws. I do not mean to seek the attention and sympathy from others because I just want to reflect on myself, so I’ll know what I have to change and what changes I’ve made. If you want to check my previous writing, https://lunaseptalisa.wordpress.com/2019/10/04/i-dont-want-to-fall-in-love-easily-confession-part-1/

See you on next parts!

I Don’t Want to Fall in Love Easily (Confession-Part 1)

Hello, my heart! How’s your condition? Okay, I know you’ve experienced broken heart for about thousand times in your entire life. I used to blame on that guys, but, it’s not only their mistakes. I did it too. My stupidity can’t be forgiven. Falling in love too easily. Misunderstanding about their caring nature. I thought I forgot that they did it to another girls too. I’m sorry for being unable to distinguish between love and obsession. I’m sorry for being so blind.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I need to take care of my heart. She screamed to me because she handled too much wounds. I realized that I’ve treated her carelessly. Since then till now, I’m more careful (or too careful). I’m so cold. I’m so rude. I don’t know how to do. Did I really make a distance too far? Did I kill my own feeling? Please, don’t ask me!

Someone try to be a newcomer into my life. I don’t know if he’s just passing or staying for longer time. I can’t rise my expectations even though we’re like two people who’ve known each other for many years. Please, don’t fall in love too easily!

Have a great day, everyone! Don’t forget to be happy.

Why Do Poets Love Silence?

source by Henryk Niestroj from pixabay.com

Writing is an activity that needs good concentration. That’s why writing often can’t be done when the surrounding is too noisy. Noises can disturb their focus. Usually, midnight or early morning are their productive and maybe favorite times because at that times, the atmosphere is still not too noisy and crowded. The surrounding hasn’t fully awaken yet.

I have my favorite times for writing. I usually do it in the early morning (around 04.00 a.m.-07.00 a.m.) before I go to work or in the evening (around 08.00 p.m.-midnight) before I sleep. I often find some writing ideas or isnpirations at that times, so I called it as “time for ideas explosion”.

I think silence is like a “bestfriend” for writers in general, and poets in particular. For me, I love silence because I can be more “powerful”, productive and creative, so I can do contemplation and catch some inspirations before I write it down. I also can catch the feels and vibes from silence, so it gives me “power” to write a poem.

Silence seems gives birth to many poems through the poets’ hands. If you realized, actually a lot of my poetry tells about silence, whether the poetry I’ve writte on WordPress or the other site. The same thing I found not only in my poetry but also in others’ poetry. For poets, silence is often treated like “human” who can do human’s activities and has feeling. Silence is often treated like a “bestfriend” who always accompany you in every happiness and sadness. Silence is often treated like a “lover” who you can cuddle with.

Silence is love. Silence is power. Silence is inspirations. Silence is bestfriend. Silence is lover. So, what do you think? Do you need silence to create your amazing artwork (especially writing)? Or you’re the typical person who can work well on every condition and atmosphere?

Have a great day, everyone! Don’t forget to be happy.

Poem | A Poet Who Lost Her Pen

source by Christine Sponchia on pixabay.com

Blank page
Waiting for someone who’ll write it down
Blank page
Waiting for someone who’ll tell the stories

Widened its ears
to capture every word
to memorize every meaning
to give a comfort
Blank page
Waiting for someone who’ll take the heart out

just to show what’s hidden
and hidden what’s shown
behind the poetry
but, she couldn’t rhyme
the words stop breathing
cause she’a a poet who lost her pen

Yogyakarta, October 1st, 2019-04.58 a.m.

Poem | I Love Silence But Afraid of Being Lonely

source by Dominik Schroder on unsplash.com

Empty
Silence
Crowded in my head
Did I build a big city on it?
Did you hear any voices?

Empty
Silence
Crowded in my heart
Did I play a music?
Did you hear any voices?

Empty
Silence
I’m a mess
Taking a deep breath
Drowning in contemplation
Silence knocks my door
Lonely welcomed
I’m afraid…

Yogyakarta, September 27th, 2019-07.44 p.m.


Poem | I Envy You

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I envy you
Because of your strength
Please, teach me how to handle the pain

I envy you
Because of your honesty
Please, teach me how to speak the truth bravely

I envy you
Because of you writing
Please, teach me how to touch others heart with your tenderness
Can you tell me what spell do you cast?

But, I also envy her
Because of her existence in your heart
Am I wrong if I want to be someone who you’re always thinking of?

Yogyakarta, September 26th, 2019-07.47 a.m.

Poem | Found a New Place

source by Shravan Vijayabaskaran on unsplash.com

We, human, won’t ever know what will happen next
Tomorrow is a mystery
Mistakes I’ve ever made
Trapped me in a regret
Tears of disappoinment
It’s not worth to remember

I found a new place
After waited for so long
I found a new place
After struggled with frustration

An agreement has written on the sky
Whispering with the softest voice
Hopes and dreams that come from the bottom of my heart
“Wake up and make a change!”

Yogyakarta, September 25th, 2019-06.48 p.m.

Poem | Take Care of My Mind

source by Jared Rice on unsplash.com

Why’d I put too much attention?
Beauty isn’t long lasting
Skin will be aging
Physical strength will be weaker

I can’t stop time
I can’t stop growing old
But, I refuse to be forgetful
My mind can’t stop thinking
Keep working

Memories of the old days
Memories of childhood
when we played together under the sun heat and rain
Memories of teenagers
when I was still naive in understanding what love is
Memories of early 20’s
when I felt that there’s big change in my life

My mind keeps it all
Before being wasted away by forgetting
Time helps to take care of those memories
Old songs and photographs can recall
While a poem helps to take care of my mind

Yogyakarta, September 24th, 2019-08.00 a.m.

*) PS : I’d like to say thank you to you all for reaching 100+ followers on my blog. I won’t go this far without your supports. Thanks for taking your time to read, like or comment on my posts. It means a lot to me. I hope I can do better next time. Have a great day, everyone! Don’t forget to be happy!

Poem | Sarcastic

source by Alice Butenko on unsplash.com

I’m tired of being nice
They used my kindness to fulfill their intentions
I’m tired of always smiling
They misunderstood me as an attention seeker
I’m tired of using metaphor
They made fun of my rhyme
I don’t like it!

I want to write a love poem
without any word “love”
I want to write a poem about you
without mention your name
I want to write sarcasm
without anyone knows that I’m being sarcastic

Yogyakarta, September 23rd, 2019-05.16 a.m.

Poem | I’m Afraid

I’m afraid that the same nightmare will haunt me again
I was really tortured
Their fake smile
Their evil laugh
Their sharp tounge
Their poisonous words
Their intimidating glare
Broke me into pieces

I’m afraid of meeting another hypocrites
She’s an angel in front of her allies
She’s an hero in front of her boss
But, she’s a queen of devil in front of me
So, should I give you a standing applause?
Ah, sorry, ma’am, I mean you deserve an Oscar!


I’m afraid of being imprisoned
My body
My heart
My soul
My energy
My creativity
My freedom
My time
My life
Am I too greedy?

I’m afraid of being over controlled
I’m not robot
I’m not machine
I’m not an object
I’m me, myself and I!
Noted!

I’m afraid of meeting mature people
who have black heart
who said A in the morning, B in the afternoon and C in the evening
who’re so different between what they said and what’s hidden inside
who have no tolerance yet close-minded
who doesn’t know how to treat others like human
So, what kind of devil human are they?

Yogyakarta, September 18th, 2019-06.32 p.m. -office drama is so sickening-