Afraid of Meeting New People (Confession-Part 4)

Okay, you might think that I’m scaredy cat. Well, actually, I’m such a coward since I was child. When I was child, I was afraid of many things. Darkness (till now), chicken (not anymore), cat (now, I’m a cat lovers), mouse (till now), cockroach (not really. as long as it’s not flying), even afraid of blender’s sound (I don’t know what you think. But, now, I think it’s hilarious lol) etc.

My mom ever told me when I was 3 years old, my dad’s friend visited our home to meet him. Because I was too young back then, I couldn’t remember that moment. I couldn’t remember what his friend looked like. Then my mom said that although he looked “scary” from the outside, actually, he’s so kind. But, I was afraid of him. I cried loudly and didn’t want to meet him. I didn’t have an idea why I cried at that time. Was it because he looked scary from the outside? or because of something else? I don’t know.

So, am I really that afraid of meeting new people? How about now? Actually, I’m not that afraid. I think instead of being afraid, it’s more like nervous and awkward. Why? Yeah, I think I’m overthinking about many things, especially meeting new people. I wonder what kind of people they are? what should I tell them? can they accept me? how should I behave and act? can we be friends? can we become close to each other? and so on. So, how do I handle this kind of situation? For me, I’ll take a deep breath , pray hopefully I meet good people and try to think positively. Although I’m nervous and awkward, I have high expectations about the new people I’ll meet (what I mean by ‘expectations’ here aren’t about looks/physical appearances. it’s about personality and behaviour). If he/she doesn’t meet my expectations, honestly, I’ll regret a little. But, I’ll try to understand and be nice to them (as long as they don’t treat me like a shit or mess up with me).

Have a great day, everyone! Don’t forget to be happy.

*) P.S. : I made small challenge for myself to confess my bad traits through writing and publish it. I do not mean to blame on myself. I do not mean to seek the attention and sympathy. I just want to reflect on myself. I want to know what should I change or what change I’ve made. If you want to check my previous post, https://lunaseptalisa.wordpress.com/2019/10/06/keep-everything-to-myself-confession-part-3/

See you on next parts!

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